Words Untold~Whispers from within...

When it visits again.

2011-01-20T13:48:00.002+08:00

My Reluctance

My reluctance.
The comeback of antiquity.
Barrier to my sanity.
I have failed me.
In search of a mirror,
Reflection of refusal.
Yesteryear cheered on,
History celebrated,
Bygones revisited.

What a blow to start off 2011 with this poem, after almost 4 months I'd stopped writing. Nothing too fancy, nothing too extravagant, I'm simply highlighting the irony that is at its fullest sense. Instead of moving forward (which I'd successfully accomplished the idea) but things just kept coming back at me for some reason.
The past had revisited me.
What supposed to move on came back full force at me, how ironic in a new year.

Nothing whatsoever

2011-01-11T14:40:00.003+08:00

Blogging seemed so strange to me now. Honestly speaking, I've logged in numerous times to this blank page, ready to post up something but I had let laziness and ignorant got the better of me and eventually, I logged out of it and never wanted to start blogging again. I guess blogging is not my thing anymore. Plus, I was thinking to myself, people loved reading gossip columns, interesting picture blogs, dramas in lives, but here comes this fella who posts nothing but poems and a pieces of his mind, without any photos whatsoever, so, why bother?

I'm kinda through with all these.

Hold on to the night

2010-11-23T11:05:00.002+08:00

It felt as if I'd just created this blog. The last post dated 1st of October. It's been really really long. Ancient in fact.

Wonder what drew me to have an interest again in blogging. To kill time I guess. This is the problem when you ain't updating your blog regularly. When you've got so much to say, but you've got no idea at all where to begin.

And I've not been penning poems recently, once again. the longing to chase for everything circumstantial had made me swayed away from my inner thoughts. Not that I don't think, but it's the feeling that you'd somehow loose touch with who you are deep down.

So lets see, finished my finals, doubt I'll do well this time, might even fail the excruciating RDA paper. What was done is done, I'd tried my best. If He wants to be cruel to me, I reckoned, this is fate.

Moving on, worked in a legal firm for a week but resigned eventually. Let us just say that I prefer dealing with people instead of machines and unreasonableness. Found another job as the Customer Service rep in Parkson, anchored in Pavilion. I have NO IDEA what to expect there. 10 to 10. Tiring shift I supposed, but it's the matter of getting used. I HOPE.

Richard Marx's "Hold on to the the night" is currently on my Window's Media Player.

I wish I could. You got tired, you entered into another risky realm where you might not be opening your eyelids again. To some people at least. But I hope that will come true. No agonizing illness or thoughts. Just sleep. And the night will take over.

As selfish as it sounds, I can't help it at times.

Still feeling jumpy inside despite having worked for a few days. Wish me luck and I hope the Christmas mood will soon kick in again after diminishing for some time.

What is life?

2010-10-01T23:58:00.003+08:00

Life we questioned, is like asking for the direction in a desert.

Life is all a joke. Indeed it is. At least in my context.

What is life? Life is a nothingness in a form of material disguise.

You figure.

When the waves came crashing down

2010-09-07T18:30:00.002+08:00

Hey folks. Another 'cheerful' entry I supposed. For the first time in my entire uni life, I failed one assignment. And of all the others, I failed the MINOR ESSAY for Media, Culture, Power. God knows what would happen to my major essays and finals.

It's not a big deal to some, I know. But it's a fail. And all I need now is a little support and thanks to my parents, I'm getting non. You can't always expect your child to get HD's or D's all the way.

I guess this serves as a slap that I gotta work waaaaaaaaaaaaay harder than most of them. It's kinda depressing to know how unfair the world is. If fairness even existed. I seriously wonder how the rest could be scoring A's and HD's all along the course without worrying much and here I am, working my ass off like a slave, only to know that I failed. Fair enough I did it rather late but I did so much readings. And why is it that I was told it was OK to refer to materials outside the reader and must we always follow what our lecturers want and etc...? Shouldn't arts be something a little more out of the box and not something that focused so much on rigidity? I followed the context, I followed the structure, and look what I've got? FAIL.

I guess this is how life works.

Ok peeps, sorry for being a little whiny but I'm still digging a hole to hide. I'm done.

On a lighter note, I got to rewrite the essay and the most I could get according to him is only a Pass. Brilliant.

Ugly duckling

2010-09-03T17:30:00.002+08:00

Ugly duckling

Time ticks away.
Moments wasted.
Ugly duckling walked on thin lines,
between acceptance and rejection,
Oblivion.
Pearly water beads rippled the pond,
mirroring his own reflection,
reflecting his solitude,
as the swans flew away.

Hope you guys would like this poem. A recent one, one that has composed out of hatred, disparity and hope.

Doink

2010-08-06T14:56:00.003+08:00

*Blink Blink*

*Errr...is anyone there?*

Yeah. That's the feeling I got when I started to pull out the piece of space and start blogging again..gosh...I can imagine my blog is covered with dust, spider webs and god knows whatever crap would be there...Sorry guys, I've been..err...well let's just say that my neurotic system kept me away from this blog. =) *cut it off you a$$, you're just lazy*

...

That's what Danny would say. ><
Sigh..ok, ok, I've been lazy all these while...but I've got nothing much to blog about you see...other than my life in Uni, which I wouldn't really call interesting since I'm stuck in KL and all I got would be Malaysians and some international students who just can't seem to bother about the world around them.

So as usual, it' already my second year and the assignments are choking up my throat. Go figure.

Oh, and a random piece, I've known a first year girl and apparently, her surname is SHAKESPEARE. O.o and according to her, she and the Mighty Uncle Shakespeare is RELATED but she's a Sri Lankan...Hmm...interesting notion.

I've got nothing more to write. So long for now.

*Closes the door as the light turns into a narrow line, and eventually, darkness.*

'Precious'

2010-06-25T15:09:00.005+08:00

Hey guys! So sorry for not updating my blog for ages.

Semester break just started and I guess it's high time for some fresh new stuff. Well not that I have a lot of update and I'm still stuck in M'sia, so I have pretty much nothing to say about my life. HAHA

But anyhow, I'd finally watched a movie called 'Precious' based on the novel 'Push' by Sapphire and this is a heartbreaking story but the warmth you get out of it is worth the watch. It's not like any typical Hollywood films or flicks. It is based on a real-life scenario where nothing is always beautiful and glamorous as it supposed to portray on TV. So, I would definitely recommend you guys to watch it. It's abt determination and strong will in overcoming life's worst situations, most of all, you gotta believe in yourself. A story about abuse, incest, emotional attachment and trust will surely capture the sensitive side if yours. The best part is, Mariah Carey's performance in it is exceptionally fantastic. =)

Here's a poem I wrote after watching the show. It's called Sapphire in the dark.

She has a heart.

A heart that tells a million raining stories.

One after another,

Drip, drip and drip.

Raining in the dark .

Where darkness is her light,

Like her heart, she pushes.

To the precious gem,

Sapphire gleams.

Based on the movie 'Precious', written based on the novel 'Push' by Sapphire.

Life is all a joke.

2010-06-11T10:10:00.001+08:00

(A Joke)

When life I questioned,

It gave me wilted flowers.

When fate I questioned,

It gave me stormy weather.

A question I had once, Tragedy answered the call.

Eternity belongs to the immortal.

It is only,

A matter of time.

We will be together.

That’s the truth,

That’s a joke.

This is probably one of the darkest poem I've ever wrote.

Of dark clouds and stormy weather

2010-05-31T18:43:00.003+08:00

As depressing as the title sounds, yes. I had one of the most depressing days ever. First, I dreamed that I was dead due to a car accident and guess what, I was like those wondering spirit you watched on TV where no one would notice your existence. And of all days when I'm having a headache and a bad start, a sudden wave of solemnity just had to hit me while I'm attending the business law lecture. Plus when the Dr. E talked about all the sections and law applications, I just can't get a thing despite learning them before. =( That added on to the depressive mood I was having...I'm doubting my ability again.

I better stop here before I sink into the usual self.

Life is a fragile piece of glass

2010-05-13T20:34:00.002+08:00

The news.
Messenger of the damned.
An airplane crash.
Only a 10 year old boy survived.

Dear Lord, why?

My heart instantly shattered when I heard and read about this. Like I said before, I'd trade my whole life for an eternity of bliss for the universe. I am not afraid of death because I will soon embark a journey He has planned for me.

But, my prayers turned to vain at times.

I've posted this poem way back then, and dedicated to a person who has lost his loved ones, and today, I could not believe I have to bring this sad piece out again. Every time when I read this piece of poem, my heart shattered yet again for the friend of mine whom we cared and loved so much. Now, I will think of the boy who will be an orphan until the day of his last breath. Kid, stay strong and my prayers are with you. Though you and I might not have any connection, but I have to say, you are one big miracle.

I have seen an extraordinary rainbow the other day and was sensing some kind of miracle is about to happened. This, might be one of them. Even if this miracle appeared from a fatal tragedy, you are to live on, to remind all of us of how lucky we are, and you, young man, will soon be someone the world will look up upon.

What is life and what is death?
Only HE knows the meaning best.

(A glass so fragile)

A fancy glass
With vibrant colours
And amazing zest of attraction

With a twist of fortune

It shattered!
Just once
It shattered…
To the floor beneath
Full of dusty dust

Can never be stitched
Can never be brought back to a piece…

How fragile..

Totally random

2010-04-28T16:51:00.002+08:00

Well I guess my blog has officially died off. Oh well, no point resurrecting it when there is Twitter - a wonder of its own! haha...sounded like I'm ditching this blog. Well in fact, I am having that notion to be honest with you. Unless, I am assignments and exam free, then MAYBE, I'll continue blogging. OR, IF I have any INTERESTING thing to blog about OR when my life gets INTERESTING enough, *notice the capital letters* =P then, I'd blog again. As for now, sorry my dear blog, I'm gonna neglect you and let you stand all alone in cyberspace, but occasionally like now, I'll just come and dust every now and then, and perhaps air the space, *now I'm sounding like a maid*

What else can I say? Rough couple of weeks, that dreadful business law assignment was just flushed down the pigeon hole, and now, MORE ASSIGNMENTS. Yeah. like a 1200 words for 2.5 marks. How worth it.

Anyway, I'm gonna abandon this for a while and maybe until I get to Sabah this July, you guys might expect something more interesting than this.

Adios! =)

When two worlds fall apart.

2010-04-13T20:51:00.003+08:00

Hey guys. I gotta hang on to the 'postmortem' of my poem first. But I think I have to blog about this. If not, you guys will be attending my funeral.

Why? Dear Lord Buddha, Why? I still can't shake myself to reality. Please, let all these be just a dream. A bad one. I'm lost for words to pen a poem and I'm still lost for words to write about anything.

All I could say, it was a tragedy. At least for me. It's like you're between heaven and hell and you have no idea which way to go.

Today, nothing matters to me ANYMORE except the 2 person where my heart will always belonged to and my studies. THAT-IS-ALL. Nothing and No One else.

At that moment of time, I felt life has failed me. Or rather, God has failed me. But I have to hang tight because of the two person I will die for and loved. Life has to go on and no worries guys, I'm not leaving a suicide note or something because it's just not worth it.

Like the song, 'I will survive.'

The perfect ten - taking a look into 'the making of'

2010-04-10T15:06:00.005+08:00

¿Cómo estás guys? How are you doing?

I take take that not many people will be reading my blog already, nevertheless, I will still post up some random stuff from time to time so in case if ANYONE would still spark an interest in my posts =)

So for this time being, it will be more or less a continuation from where I'd stopped last. Some of them asked me, how did the last poem came about? It wasn't an easy one to start off looking on the fact that I had sort of 'retired' for a while from penning poems after poems back then. Initially, it started as an idea and I actually started to write a few lines and thinking maybe I shall add a little twist to it and perhaps make it significant since it will be my first 100th poem. Then I promised myself, why not complete it by my 20th b'day and add to the significance? Hence I really thought that was a brilliant idea, so begun the process.

So, this poem is rather close to me as it sums up what I had been through while I wrote all my poems before. Like any other people who writes, inspirations came like the rain. The indefinite nature of ideas and the fluidity of words. Some of my closer friends will know that my poetry based a great deal on human emotions and just like my life, where ups and downs are inevitable. When life treats me cruel, I pen poems. When life treats me and others kind, I pen poems. There were instances when my life was experiencing a turmoil and the poems I wrote represented pretty much the emotional struggles I experienced. Sometimes, I look within myself in order to understand the world and not just about myself, a great deal of my poems as well revolved around other humans. Therefore, fragments of words will be linked and eventually, a full picture emerged.

That's how 'The Perfect Ten' came about =)

The perfect ten

2010-04-02T11:50:00.002+08:00

I don't care whether age is just a number or not when I'm loved by so many people whom I never thought will remember this momentous day! =)

I've finally completed a very poem which I've intended to finish by my 20th birthday and fortunately, I did! thanks to YOU who gave me so much inspirations and the will to carry on...

The poem is called 'The perfect ten' as it comprises of 10 lines and 10 words weaved into a stanza. I'll tell you guys more about the inspirations behind this poem but for now, let me present to you a piece of words which might not have meant anything to you, but something significant to a part of me.

A long way since I came, for words I hunt.

At times the fountain flows, sometimes it puts a blunt.

O how swift the wave, cascading the ocean down and

In darkness, I discovered a weeping child, looking into me.

Even in the blazing sun, around me, dark butterflies danced.

As I wonder with the butterflies, I hear my heart.

The rest is silence. Whereupon silence is when I begun.

Where line by line, they will join. Threads of poetry.

A long way since I came, for words I hunt,

To hunt for this perfect ten. That’s what I meant.

Thank you mom and dad, Sherry, and Danny for the special gifts I received form you guys and to all you rocking people out there! Thank you for all the wishes and love you sent to me.
Thank you, Gracias, Obrigado, and xie xie! =D

In a hurry, I came. In a hurry, I went

2010-03-26T00:11:00.002+08:00

The feeling that this blog gives me at the moment is like an old couple barely able to cross the street even for one and a half hours...Don't ask me why but this is the notion that I somehow developed..haha XD

Yes guys, it has been AGES since I've last blog...of course I'm not gonna have an essay-length post as too much things had lapsed and well I'm just gonna make it straight and simple.

Oh and yes, I'm blogging with my new laptop for the very first time! =D

Ugh...it has been too long...I don't even know where and HOW to start. This is EXACTLY what I'm feeling now with my media assignment which is due on Monday X( after finshed watching American Idol and wasted my 2 hours. here I am. Blogging away with my essay 20% done =_=' Can't I EVER do things the way I wanted to? Procrastination is just a sin away, I would say. Well at least for me. I really gotta change this habit before my assignment managing skills turn their asses back at me.

So many to go, only one down this time. All major stuff will be due after semester break and Psychology literature review is coming up next!!!! Oh gosh, I have business law as well!!! aarrggh!!! I'm tearing my brains out anytime...

But I guess I'd have to wait till tomorrow AGAIN. Sad, but I really need to hit the bed now...sorry for such a nonsensical post but I promise I'd post something better soon. Oh and I'm on my way to construct my 100th poem! =) on a lighter note that is.

Alright people....so long for now.

Night

2010-02-24T22:41:00.002+08:00

A still and silent night.
With cold breeze brushing across,
a half-lit moon,
an Empty sky.
A beautiful night?

I'm a human with a thousand flaws

2010-02-22T16:33:00.001+08:00

I'm a human with a thousand flaws.
I'm a guy who is consistently finding a way to reduce those flaws and I'm in the midst of bringing myself to the next level of perfection.
I'm no hunk, I'm no James Bond and I'm no Albert Einstein.
I'm just me.
I value and treasure life's little miracles such as friendship, kindness and compassion.
I am a proud friend and pillar to my autistic brother and yes, I'm not ashamed of it, in fact, he's one of my life's little miracles!
I do admit, at times, I'm very emotional and sensitive. Beneath the surface of iron and steel, the soft spot deep down is easily crushed.
I used to be someone I want to be,
but now, I am what I'm supposed to be.
I listen, and I often lends out a helping hand.
After all, what does it take to just sit back and listen to a person with your heart?
I write poetry, not Shakespeare, not Milton, certainly not John Keats.
I'm still a guy with a thousand flaws =)

...

2010-02-03T20:51:00.002+08:00

Seriously...If I don't start to blog again, this blog would probably just fade away and rot like a cadaver under the shadow of this cyber-world...

Sorry, been reading too much thrillers and mystery novels....plus I'm just trying to let my creative juices to be running again as I've not been writing lately and my vocab is SERIOUSLY deteriorating~ t.t

Ah, screw it! At the very least my sentence structure is still intact! muAHAhAHAha

So, what's up with my 3-4 months holidays? Too little to call fantastic yet too much to be said. Confused? yeah even I'm as confused as you! xD

Working from Monday to Friday as usual, other than coming back home, work out, bath, dinner, Internet, tv, reading, go to bed and start all over again, I have nothing much to say bout my monotonous life.

Has the dawn broken?

2010-01-16T20:50:00.003+08:00

Isn't it ironic that we used to think of being a grown up is something so cool and we get to do things we like, we gonna have so much freedom and basically being ourselves. However, as we grow older, things just seemed to turn their a**es back on us and how we longed to go back in time where the actual freedom being a kid under the wings was not well appreciated and till then, freedom now does come with commitments and gosh, how impatient are we at times! We just can't wait to get out of our moms' tummies to experience the sufferings of life, we can't wait to become an adult, we can't wait to get more and more money, we can't wait to have a girlfriend or a wife, and until the end, when we hope that life could treat us kinder by sparing us a few more moments with our loved ones, death, is already right under our noses. Which is why I used to write in one of my earlier poems saying that, 'once we're here, then we're not, once we live, it's a miracle'. What I mean here might sound morbid, but there is some humor in it in fact. Since we just can't wait to let time speed off, when fate is upon us, there's nothing we could do. And once we are already in the coffin looking all cozy and calm, once we breathe again and open our eyes, ain't that a miracle? ;-)

That would be just some figurative speeches that I like to throw in to make things a lil' bit 'saucy' XD

Not just that, even physically, being impatient is like juggling ourselves on a single thread suspended in mid air. Seriously speaking, I was an extremely impatient kid back then. Though I've changed for the better, I could still get jumpy at times. It made me panicked, sweat and basically disoriented. Now that I'm turning 20 in a few months time, being impatient is already not an option. Yeah, blame it on my hormones but at least, like what my mom said, you could always putt off the fire with your mind. HOW INSPIRING... xD now that's what I call the PHILOSOPHY OF LIFE YA'LL! haha

Here's a poem to which I've tried to express the fact that when things are meant for us, and if we deserve a wonderful dawn, it will come to us no matter what. All we have to do is to be PATIENT and the journey would be much more pleasant when we learn to let things go and anticipate for a warmer morning without jumping too fast into the chilly night. =)

Do enjoy this poem! It's called 'Has the dawn broken?'

Has the dawn broken?

For crickets are still singing away

from a distance,

far, far, away.

And the mighty rooster

has yet to make its grand entrance for the morning call.

Even the air is still masked

by a tint of jasmine blossom...

Has the dawn broken?

Will I ever be patient enough?

To endure through the pacing mind of mine,

painfully awaiting the hands of time

performing a metamorphosis

while I sit here,

with a reluctance of returning to slumber

and wonder,

Has the dawn broken?

Happy, happy new year

2010-01-01T21:58:00.003+08:00

On a happier note, I've ended the dreadful year of 2009. =)

At the very least, towards the end of the year, life's little joys were sent to me when my life was picked up eventually. In fact, I felt totally refreshed and rejuvenated, at the same time, I think I've matured over the years and realized that there is not a moment better than to live the present to the fullest.

Apart from the inspiring realization, it had also dawned on me and I came to an enlightenment about the true meaning of friendship. =) It is when you do not count or measure the DIFFERENCE in an individual and even if the flaw in him or her is obvious, you do not and WILL NOT even take it into account.

=)

I've achieved what I've longed for and I've see through many things in life. It is an endless journey through the kaleidoscope of life =D

Happy new year guys! Can't wait for Chinese New Year, my studies and my 100th poem =)

O how my life passes by

2009-12-22T22:59:00.005+08:00

Here comes the sun, here comes the rain,
Here comes the fun, here comes the pain,
O how my life passes by.

This could very well being engraved on my tombstone when I return to the earth's slumber.
I tend to ponder quite a bit on the moments of life that brought me here to this point today. All the what-ifs, the questions seemed to tumble upon me, making me feel so, imperfect, vulnerable. There went my poem, 'a soul to weep', there went Carey's 'Memoirs of an Imperfect Angel'. Never did I experienced a day without comparing myself to the mass, never did I have the chance to just appreciate myself and not pushing myself too hard till I crumble, and yes, I never did. It is just recently that I've finally cleared my mind and made myself occupied with some stuff, only then I slowed down a little. When one is not tied up to that particular feeling that clung on to you a while ago, once it came back in fragments, gosh, how unbearable.

It's almost Christmas time but I'm not sounding festive at all. But argh, what the heck, as if there is ANYONE at all that cares about my blog. Call me vain, call me a sucker, call me a loser, and yes, I am. To hell with it.

Have I ever proved myself right? Have I justified my points clearly? For you people who just loved to judge, you tell me. Wait, hold on,

Keep it to yourself.

Not because I'm afraid, but because I'm fed up.

I gave up.

Nothing but bliss

2009-12-06T21:33:00.005+08:00

Bliss Bliss Bliss...nothing but Bliss =)

At the moment, indeed there's nothing but bliss. I'm having my income (not a lot but still...), I treated my parents to a nice meal, I bought my much anticipated mp3 and earphones, I'm getting a new laptop tomorrow and most of all, I got my results, which I NEVER NEVER EVER dared to expect especially the '2-word' grades- High Distinction. To even think of it is like sitting on the same couch with Mariah Carey drinking champagne...but it so happened that maybe I couldn't get Mariah, so SOMEONE ABOVE decided that I shall be granted 2 HDs XD haha...not that I wanna boast but...the truth is, I had LITERALLY...listen up, LITERALLY given up on one of my papers which a HD popped out when I checked my results...goodness..it really gave me a heart attack at that exact moment! TAlking bout IRONY, I only got 2 credits for both Psychology and Communication...guess I gotta switch my majors to International Studies and Management! xD Nevertheless, I'm really grateful and blessed for what I've got..though my GPA is positioned at 3.0 out of 4, I'm totally humbled by my results and the only thing now is to work even harder to eliminate all the credits and maybe score some Distinctions and more HD's in future =D

Other than that, I just have to leave it to HIM =)

You see, the exams were the only one that had got me so worried that I even dreamed of failing the Management paper. So basically, I have not been freed since the last day of exams, so to say. But the psychological prison released me after knowing what I got. Yes, my results might not even be a good one, let alone being impressive to some people, for a person like me who did not really had much of a academic record, this is like winning a goal medal. Daniel, you got what I say =D oh and by the way, congratulations to you too Daniel for scoring 2 HD's as well =D yay for us!

*Fireworks going off with clinks of glasses ;-P*

That would be after you return from England =D

So, apart from this blissful moment, I had also bought my fabulous 2GB Sony mp3 with superb sound enhancing system and a fantastic in-ear earphone to compliment the richness and goodness of music which I even longed to take the train to my workplace just so that I can indulge in my music with 50% of noise blocked by the RM 80 earphones xD It was rather expensive but heck, it's worth the quality!

Then then then...I'll be also getting a laptop as my uncle had wanted to surprise me with an early Christmas present. It was meant to be a surprise but my mom blurted it out because she can't stand lying to her own son xD hahaha! So I guess, I'm blessed in a way as HE still loved me =)

Also, I had a splashing time for half a day with my family since this morning. I treated us to a heavy breakfast which we then went shopping around hunting for Christmas presents and treats for both ourselves and for my cousins before having lunch cum tea...ended up with ate more than we walked xD the food in Pavilion is really good...the restaurants are superb and the Food Republic is simply splendid! Went home with bags of goodies and when I thought of getting some personal items, my mom asked me to buy in Singapore which we'll be going this weekend and I was like... =_=''' you actually want me to go ALL the way to S'pore just to get my underwear FOR EXAMPLE...Mom can really drive us all nuts at times...

Still, I had a blissful December =)

I love my results,
I love my family,
I love my poems,
I love my mp3,
I love my vanilla ice-cream and
I love my Honeydew sago dessert =)

Updates...

2009-11-30T09:03:00.003+08:00

Hey ya! Gosh, it sure feels like ages since the last post! Alot had been going on and I am actually blogging right from the computer in the marketing office here in Methodist College! XD Funny thing that I was the first one to reach this morning and normally, either one of my superiors would have already be in the office before me and I was wondering if...I wasn't notified about something that I should have known?! O.o Hope not but maybe I shall try to sniff out the reason why my bosses are late! Sounds like a typical office's 'gossip mafia' xD hahaha

And yes! For your information I am employed to be as an intern back in my home college MCKL to be working with the marketing department. Yea yea...I know what you guys are thinking...It's not a glamorous job, the pay isn't as high as those outside..but hey, what counts is the learning experience and furthermore, I think my pay is rather reasonable and at least I am not underpaid! It wasn't so bad working here after all xD I am still glad that I was given the confidence to counsel some basic stuff to the parents since I was an ex-student =D and the good thing is they could get a perspective of a 'living example' regarding the culture and students' life =D Started working on the 18th and till date, I've been working at MCKL for almost 3 weeks.

So far it has been rather eventful for these 2 weeks, Attended Mei Sann's wedding on Saturday and celebrated Jian Fung's and my brother's birthday on the Saturday as well. Now that I'm already earning my own money, instead of thinking over and over again, I felt that I can actually afford to make quick decisions while buying or having to pay for something and THAT IS A BLOODY GOOD FEELING =P But of course, big spending is a no-no for me. In fact I just planned to purchase whatever necessary stuff that I've been wanting for a long time and maybe treat myself to something more than the usual. Not forgetting to 'belanja' my family to a nice and fancy meal hehe.

The outing with the Behs and Harry was really good. Went Italian for lunch and English for tea xD oh and Mei Sann, CONGRATULATIONS! =D she seemed so tired on that day..well I guess this is kinda typical for every bride on their once-in-a-lifetime moment huh?

My English is SERIOUSLY DETERIORATING....

Alright, that's all for now, will update more on my life later on!

Adios!

I'm waiting

2009-11-26T21:31:00.001+08:00

Still waiting to compose my 100th poem.

At the same time thinking to myself how useless can I be and listening to some Mariah

.
..
...
....
.....

Waiting, thinking, vanishing.

I want to know what life and love is.

Memoirs of An Imperfect Angel

2009-11-15T10:31:00.007+08:00

Hey there! I've been so lazy to blog recently...the post-exam mood is alive and kicking! haha Though it didn't went well, (unfortunately =( ... ) But life goes on and all I could hope for is to get at least a Distinction and a Pass for Management...enough said...I do not want this post to sound depressed...we've much to be depressed about, don't we?

Anyways, holiday before working in MCKL has been not too bad so far, I wouldn't say awesome, but it is reasonably okay. Been to Malacca last 2 days and I've finally bought my copy of Mariah Carey's 'Memoirs of An Imperfect Angel' =) catchy huh? Till today, this is actually my favorite album of all after 'The Emancipation of MIMI' and 'Butterfly'. What drawn me to my attention the most is the fact that she took the risk and made this whole album as a 'novel', a memoir, to be precise. Despite the fact that the Billboard and charts are towards fancying singles and individual hits, Carey had indeed taken a big leap in the industry by giving her fans something out of the ordinary and if I'm not mistaken, this is the first album that actually has a flow between all the songs in the particular arrangement and tells a different story of her live. 'Betch gon' know' is first on her album and it opened with:

'Welcome to a day of my life, the Memoirs of an imperfect angel...'
And what's more, the so-called 'sound-the-same' music had appealed to me through and through. Yes, all of it might sound the same, but the elements are actually combination of music styles of past albums. There are pop-chart friendly songs, RnB, soul, ballads and who can forget her 'oh-so-high' vocal acrobatics - the whistle register =D

So far, there are some songs that had really touched my heart, there are songs that had made my friends teary-eyed, and there are songs that had made my friend became more appreciative of her music =D For more information on Carey's album, do visit the blog of another hardcore fan of MC, my friend, Kelvin =)
www.kelvinkuankahmun.blogspot.com/search/label/MARIAH

Without much talking, I just wanna introduce you guys to some of favorite numbers in this album. First up, it'll be Languishing(the interlude) and I want to know what love is. I've put up before, but here is the official music video that captured the simplicity of 'love' =) not her best, but it's worth watching. I'd suggest if you'd listen to Languishing first as these two songs are in a way connected, not just musically but emotionally. Only then you'd be able to get the flow and appreciate the last tune more =)

Angel's cry. No too much of everything =)one of the songs with the best lyrics ever!

H.A.T.U.

'We are all humans, we are all imperfect' ~ Mariah Carey
Welcome to day of Choon Hui's imperfect journey, a memoir to be shared =D

Life could be hysterical

2009-11-04T18:06:00.004+08:00

Hey there peeps! As I've promised (and broke it XD) to post a poem right after my last post, here it is. The tittle might sound a lil' bit off and out of the ordinary cos, well..that's the whole point you see XD it's called 'Hysterical'.

The weather seemed to be having its own 'mood-swings'..well, you can't help it when when we call her 'Mother Earth' =P

So, as hysterical as the tittle sounds, this poem is also a piece to depict the turmoils and crazy storms that invade our lives every now and then. What we could do is just to observe, endure and stand up from the fall. And hey! it's OK when your life got hysterical once in a while =D

(Hysterical)

Water droplets fell,

Almost mist-like.

Showering the outside world,

Came with the wind.

On the ground they fell

Countless broken marbles.

Drops, drops, drops…

Millions they dropped.

The dancing tree,

Seemed delightful,

Hysterical.

Oh and by the way, this is my 99th poem =D

Raining of thoughts...

2009-10-30T18:54:00.006+08:00

Somehow, the weather actually stands a huge part of the significant representation of our mood, or should I say feelings?

Was raining heavily right after I took my first finals examination yesterday - Psychology. I wonder if it was just a mere coincident or perhaps an omen hinting me the worst was yet to come, or telling me how unprepared and how deserving I was for feeling bad about the exam. And yes, I did not have a casual and cheerful thought despite the completion of a much anticipated paper. Of course I wouldn't say that I'd gave my all but I dare say that I've tried my best. Much more than before. So, a regular downpour or a sign?

I wasn't too happy about it while I was sitting there in the library, facing the open compound while trying to read up some articles for next week's International Studies when the sky was so dark and out of a sudden, it rained like there was no tomorrow. As I was trying to concentrate, a stream of words just came into my mind...after a long time, the fountain of poesy came alive and halfway constructing a poem, Fatin came along and we just went for a tea at the cafeteria which offered no 'happy food' according to Fatin, my lovely course mate XD

And today, Danny, a good buddy of mine came over, supposedly to study, but ended up chit-chatting for the whole afternoon while having lunch and apparently his legs were itching too as for mine XD so we decided go for a jog later on as I really need one since my belly is becoming more prominent (haha..) In fact the weather was kinda 'moody' I'd say xD but I sorta guess that it wouldn't rain but Danny insisted that it will...and we had a bet...

Why the heck am I sounding more and more monotonous? It's like I'm writing a lap report....

Anyway, back to the topic...so we had bet and that sneaky fella got me promised to post up my after-jog photos on Facebook which I was so reluctant to do so...'dahlah aku tak photogenic, then peluh kuat pulak...' sigh~ oh by the way the photos are on fb...and plz don't check it out if necessary xD

While we were almost reaching the other side of the park, we had to make a detour as it was already drizzling and I thought that we could just run home in time before the rain got heavier but lady luck wasn't on our side and certainly no more ON MY SIDE! and that's when I lose my bet..yay~ =_='' it was already quite heavy when we tried to run into the nearest porch available and thankfully there was still room available for the 2 of us but my goodness, the wind was so heavy until it further drenched our clothes....

It was kinda awkward as we were sweating and panting like mad dogs and imagine this: *when we ran in, everybody just stoned and roll their big eyes over us and when we turn back, everybody resumed to their conversations...we were like...=_='*

Seriously, what's so 'dramatic' about us? Tak pernah tengok orang putih ke? atau tak pernah tengok orang berpeluh?

...

But in a way it's kinda funny as well judging by their expressions and looks..haha

We were literally stuck for almost an hour and at point we peculiarly ran out of conversation and this was when I went into a deep thought while watching the downpour. The rain almost, always has an effect on me when I'm drifted off into a sea thoughts...

I was imagining that if the place where we were standing was a boat, or a ship and the only difference was this boat was immobile, and I was thinking as we were running into that little 'hut', it just overwhelmed me that this could be a safe haven for us and I felt sheltered and thankful that there's still a place for me before being carried away by the 'sea current'. As the wind got stronger and so did the millions of water droplets. That moment in time, it was as if the forces of nature was gonna tear our boat apart and when I felt the chilly wind accompanied by the rain hitting on my back and my shoulders, I even saw some children running into their parents' arms and tugging their little heads into the warmth of their parents after hearing a load roar of the thunder, flashed with Zeus' thunder bolt. The rain got heavier and heavier by the second, and feelings of helplessness and vulnerability just kicked in and I wonder how long would we still be trapped here? and at the same time I was also wondering if I'd get sick since I was sweating so badly when the wind was howling away and freezing my body to death...worst still, I was wearing a thin material which was furthermore sleeveless...*shivers* I could not bring myself to reality until Danny nudge me by my tummy and realized that the rain had subsided...how long I've been in a 'trance', I seriously couldn't tell. One thing for sure was that I felt slightly cheerful than before as the worst turmoil had passed us by and what was left was the last drops from the clouds. Thinking that we might be able to leave soon, yet again, I was thrilled by a sense of gladness and gratitude that the boat could finally sail on a calmer sea and we'd all be reaching the land and leaving the sea soon. How great was that. I've tried to relate this to Danny, but I guess we're just too tired and distracted to listen to each other, so I've decided to blog it out.

Yes, the rain somehow made me came out with all sorts of funny imaginations (which most people would relate to) but as for me, it's like a life experience.

We begin our journey,
we met obstacles along the way,
we felt that life just doesn't treat us kind,
but if we're strong enough to persevere, to endure it all,
and not make stupid decisions like jumping into the sea and tried to swim, in our case, tried running home under the rain and got sick,
troubles will eventually vanish, and as I've blogged before,
there would always be a rainbow after a wash,
and off we go again, continuing our journey
under a bright sunny sky,
till we reach our desired destinations.

Yeap! that would be all for now and before my readers got sleepy enough after reading this post, here it is, a more 'decent' photo of me (though not for the actions xD), at least I'm 'dried' at last..haha

I was actually yelling at Danny to stop taking my picture and who knows he handled the camera so well until he caught me in this 'bitchy' pose XD

Till then and I'll post up a poem tomorrow IF I could complete it by tonight =D

Have a nice evening guys!

Those little brats...

2009-10-21T22:09:00.002+08:00

UGH!!! Those pimples!!!! Why can't you just leave me alone? And why does it had to happen to me? It's easy to tell me that maybe I do not have a proper face hygiene (which is SO NOT TRUE) or to tell me to try this and that, even to comfort me saying that oh they'll disappear soon enough later in time...b-l-a-h...

Yes, I am severely attacked by the 'polka-dots' and implanted more than 30 scarring bombs that seemed to be random enough to 'generate' more pimples and having a certain season where they'll be blooming their way through...I just hate it...

I HATE PIMPLES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

At times, no matter how much junk I've ate, nothing will happen but when I really took care of my diet and sleep, they're apparently playing an opposing game with me.

I've tried all sorts of products and eventually, I really gave up...found a product on net which seemed to be really effective and people who underwent the program achieved a 100% success in vanishing those pimples...but the only thing is, it's too pricey =(

How I envy you guys who have clear and glowing faces... =(

Thought of blogging about the Singapore trip and about the High Distinction that I scored for one of my major assignment, but after looking into the mirror, there goes my mood. Sigh~

It's becoming cold

2009-10-11T12:18:00.002+08:00

My blog is seriously dying off...the intention did came into my mind to discontinue blogging for the rest of my life...apparently I'm the one visiting blogs and the amount of comments I'd left on chat-boxes is more than I the amount I blogged in a month. Yeah...I guess I know the reason why and reckoned that perhaps it is my posts that bores people off...oh well...that's my life you see and guiltily speaking as well, part of the reason that I do not blog often is because I-AM-LAZY XD ta-dah! and to me changing the fonts, colors and sizes of the wordings is just so troublesome....so that explains the monotonous fonts that I've been using FOREVER xD

So, another week after the semester break and I've just handed up 3 assignments upon reaching Friday and all I could say that I think I did RUBBISH...for the first time in my life, I never had to do 3 assignments in a week...and mind you, it's never wrecking....just a friendly advice...to you guys out there who are still not enrolled in any universities yet, PLEASE enjoy your life as much as possible until you receive your tertiary education. Hmm...maybe it's just me...the not-so-smart-one...forget what I say, perhaps you guys are way better than me academically =D

Another 2 assignments pending and scheduled to be handed up next week, Wednesday and Friday consecutively which means that I am still procrastinating to complete the Psychology Lab Report t_t

As much as I've swore and vowed not to get in to that bad habit, I just can's seemed to take that sticky sticker off me...
Right after standard 6, I promised not to procrastinate but it carried on
Right after my first exam in Form 1, I vowed not to study last minute, but it never happened
Right after my PMR, I told myself to study beforehand and never wait till the last minute, it still carried on
Right after SPM, still...I kept on 'vowing' until the day I got in to Monash...

I guess I shall blame it on human nature?

At the very least, I am thankful the nature of me being anxious all the time did serves a purpose as I think I might have take things more seriously than before...at least for the assignments XD

Anyway, I am learning to be thankful for everything =D

Oh and before I log off, I really want you guys to listen to this. Not because she is Mariah Carey, but her whistle not at the end is by far THE BEST REGISTER THAT I'VE EVER HEARD! This song is called 'I want to know what love is', originally made famous by the 80's band, Foreigner. With a zest of RnB and touch of gospel style, Carey really spiced up that song.

My whole WEEK of mid-semester break

2009-10-02T11:43:00.002+08:00

Hey peeps! Check out what I've done for the whole of my mid-semester break! It's fun!

-Gathering information for Communication Studies major assignment
-Having information overload
-Sitting in front of the computer for hours doing browsing 6 or 7 adds at one time
-Having information overload again
-Read through the prescribed readings again
-Gathering MORE materials for the assignment
-Noticing that I might have interpreted the question wrongly
-Almost sweared and cursed on Twitter
-Laze around in front of the computer O.o
-Losing all my mood to begin writing again
-Wasting time watching pointless video clips on YouTube
-Wasting MORE time constructing sentences for my essay
-Sitting in front of computer for another FEW hours to gather MORE info
-INFOMATION OVERLOAD ONCE AGAIN
-Walking around the house back and forth to construct sentences
-Almost knocked the computer out of it's casing
...

And it kinda goes on...a cyclical process... how INTERESTING my week huh? =_=

OK lar, at least, I did hang out a bit with my high school friends and going to Malacca this weekend....

Still, my essay is not completed...

But I'm proud to say that at least, I still hand up on time and while I procrastinate, I did my very best on everything and answered the question as it required (at least that is what I think) tsk tsk...

2 more assignments to go... X(

...

2009-09-28T11:22:00.005+08:00

Honestly speaking, I'm through with requesting for help.

*Vulgarity might be present in this context. If you are anyway unprepared, kindly leave this page immediately. Thank you.*

That is the reason that I'd rather do things on my own than asking a simple favor from others and dealing with their ignorance and looking down upon.

Mind you, it's something as simple as just setting up an appointment with them to discuss some problems...yea...is not that difficult isn't it? From my understanding, it's plain pointless that if you don't wanna help sincerely, then don't do it. Or for the very least, tell me right in front of my face that you can't make it or something. My point is, at least, notify me if you intend to be absent or you are unable to provide the convenience.

You see I'm not that kind of people who love to take advantage of others. I'd remember you for life even if you did something insignificant as looking out for my bag while I am away, and the bloody reason that I come to you is because I know you are able to help me and plus, I ain't always bugging you, and you wouldn't loose anything at all.

I had the trust in you but it seems that you had taken this to another level and seen it in another light.

Fine. You people have more say than us and just too bad that you people are in a more superior position that you can have that something which we cant own and perhaps we're the more inferior ones as you all love to put it and symbolically giving you jerks the authority to displace us who are being slightly at the 'lower ends'...And worse, we're treated like beggars or some sort, who are incapable of surviving by our own, who are parasites that lived for nothing but to depend on you poeple...TO HELL WITH THAT!

So listen up, I would rather do the wrong stuff than to handle the bloody treatments by you people and YOU PEOPLE SUCK AND ALL OF YOU ARE THE WORST KIND OF RAGS THAT EVEN MY UNDERPANTS SMELLED BETTER THAN YOU!!!

Well, that's all for my ramblings. So my semester break is here and I still have tons of assignments to be completed. And it's already Monday and I'm not even starting one assignment =_='' guess I just gotta kick myself on the back a few times (how is that even possible?? O.o)

Pimples are all popping out for no apparent reasons...and I looked horrible....screw all the hormones...I'd rather have oilier face and more facial hair than having all these little buggers mushroomed all over my face...All my guys friends spent at least 30 bucks a week on their facial regime and I'm not even doing anything other than washing my face with a type of soap 'kononnya' is good for prevention of pimples..bull shit...

I guess getting frustrated and jumpy could be part of the reason besides stress? huh....

Bliss in the morning sunshine

2009-09-14T21:30:00.003+08:00

I figured out that I've not been posting up my poetry lately. So I guess it's time while I'm still working on a poem called 'Let the wind hug you'. It should be an interesting one but due to the never ending commitments, I'm sorry that I couldn't post up in time. Nevertheless, I'll try my best to complete it when I'm done with most of my assignments. Meanwhile, I'll treat you guys with this. I'm not sure if I've posted this before, but who cares, as long as you got the feel =P

Have you ever wake up to a morning when everything just seemed blissful and it's as if you living in a whole different dimension where serenity is all you can feel? I just wish that every morning would be like that.

Being tired of the world, even a bird's chirping and the morning sunshine would gain your full appreciation.

If you just listen and feel.

The day awaits

I heard the birds chirping,

As I opened the window.

I felt the gentle breeze caressing my face,

And the clouds racing eastwards.

I gazed at the playground of God,

Of a reflection in the river

With plants that are green and young.

I can’t help but wonder,

What a day that awaits me

As the first ray of sunlight

Emerged from the horizon

And I heard the radio singing,

‘A new day has come…’

Sabah - A place not to be missed if you are a MALAYSIAN

2009-09-07T20:06:00.014+08:00

Nothing compared to a relaxing weekend after a whole month of stress and tension. Reluctant as I was at first, I am glad that I made it to Sabah and guess what, the trip was AWESOME! people, need not spend your money on tours and oversea trips, I can assure you that even within Malaysia, you could find world class destinations. Just like Sabah. No one paid me to advertise but I'm truly in love with the state, it's serenity and its coastal beauty had deeply enchanted me. So here are some photos I'd taken along the way and more could be viewed on Facebook. (I couldn't believe I'm updating my account XD). We took off by Malaysia Airlines and unfortunately, most domestic flights are of old planes...so it wasn't that pleasant but at least it was worth the trip.

Here's a scene captured from plane before landing

Had seafood for dinner as Sabah is famous for it and that 'lobster-like' prawns were throat cutting! Rm 200 for two =_='

And this is taken from our hotel room. We stayed in Shangri-la, which could be easily passsed on as a 4-star hotel, contrary to my mom's believe to be only 3-star

One of the streets in Kota Kinabalu

Scenic views from the observatory tower on 'Bukit Bendera'

My little brother and I
My dear family, minus that 'botak' XD well at least he's kind enough to ask if I wanna be in the picture

What I liked most about the sleeping Buddha is the close resemblance to a live human, you might not notice it in the picture but trust me, it's really real when you take a closer look on the spot

Oh, and how was I supposed to forget that we were so lucky to catch the one and only 'floating bookshop' that harbored at the port of Kota Kinabalu. I've been wanting to visit this ship which is 2 years younger than the 'Titanic' for quite awhile and walah! Lucky lucky me! First spotted this when we were crusing along the coastal area at night after our 1st dinner and although I'm not a Christian, I 'm still glad that I was able to step on this decade-old ship. The lady ship is called 'Doulos' and the whole concept of floating bookstore came about by a group of Christians and believe it or not, all the workers on board are actually volunteers! how wonderful is that! I f I'm not mistaken, the next stop would be at Pasir Gudang and this lady only stop for less than a month.

From the stairs of the ship

Inside the ship

Her 'Lady-ship' - Doulos' =D

Not to forget Tanjung Aru. The waves and the wind was truly a breathtaking one! You could actually fall asleep by just letting the wind feather across your body and it's not like those typical breeze but a strong one I would say and it never stopped not even until we left.

Ok, my mom said this fella looked like a gangster =_=' gangsters don't really smile while taking a pic, do they??

This could seemed motionless but if you're there, it's totally different

Ah, and this is the Filipino market and it was fascinating to see how these people are becoming more and more like people here as they could initially sell their products at a rocket high price like RM 69 and then once you bargain, it could drop to RM 20 =_=' but at least, it's something different from what we got here. There's still a sense of locality unlike the Petaling Street back here which is flooded by immigrants...
And yes, the Salted fish market which sells lots of dry food products and even sea-horse! hmm..I've asked them how do we consume the sea horse and they said it's only used for boiling and it's good for asthma patience.

This was an unforgettable spot to me. It's known as 'PortView' by most tourists and there's this row of restaurants, bars and cafes along the whole stretch of extended plane towards the coastal line, so you could imagine that this plane is actually standing on the South China Sea =D

Yeap! That's me with the salted fish! XD haha

Imagine this. Plane standing right beside the ocean + a jar of brewed beer + sea breeze = Heavenly indulgence XD

You see, I was at a point doubting that was I even in Malaysia? Looking on would be a whole bunch of Ang Mohs drinking away their beers and enjoying the evening scene and honestly, it's exactly the same as being at the coastal plane of the Mediterranean.

Simply splendid.

something random

2009-09-04T00:55:00.002+08:00

Now I'm really experiencing the times when you're so occupied and busy until something you once remembered so clearly or ought to remember that the event is gonna happen the next day just slipped out of your mind...That's real craziness man...I'm just so caught up with endless commitments until I've forgotten that I'll be leaving for Sabah in a few moments XD uni life people, gotta get use to it...

Gosh...my parents were out and I'm blogging at 1 a.m...mom's sure gonna slaughter me nice and clean if she gets to know..hehe...

I've nothing much to say here, in fact, I don't even know where to start since the last time I've blogged. Assignments, presentations, due dates...all cramped into 1...just completed the an Interlearn for Psychology Research, Design and Analysis and I'm so sleepy now...

You know what, I'll probably blog bout more soon when I come back from Sabah and stay tunned for more pictures...haha

So ciao people! I'll see u guys soon!

I smile as I hope

2009-08-18T14:54:00.005+08:00

There will always be a rainbow after the rain, it's just the matter of light and dampness.

Back then, I'm sure you readers noticed that I used to blog about how my life sucked and as if the whole world is gonna end sort of posts. Well, funny they say time can do anything to you without telling you when and why. I guess this is what we're living for huh? as Lord Buddha said, live in the present, think nothing of the past or the future, enjoy the mist of the morning without worrying the sun will dry away the very last drop of it. Haha, as profound as it sounded, there's nothing bombastic in it, just some sprinkle of stardust with a glittering shine that'll brighten up the dark corner of your soul =)

Not that my life is a bed of roses for now nor I'm feeling joyous...I'm living in a dimension that I'm trying my level best to live in contentment...

And I'm still trying not to think bout the past and the future...although it'll form a smile while I reminisce about the blissful memories.

Here's a poem called 'I smile as I hope' Hopefully it'll bring a smile as you read =)

(I smile as I hope)

I hope,
Therefore
It comes to me.
Like an invisible smile
Forming the curve on my face.

I have a dream.
And that smile
Will fade into stardust
Of Aurorean love,
Shining my way to hope again.

When life hits you

2009-08-12T19:32:00.002+08:00

Hello there! I'm back again, stealing some of my assignment time for blogging xD Been up with a flu and a slight cough since 2 days ago..=( nearly developed a fever last week but thankful my immune system is still running quite well because back then I used to be like sick cat every now and then when flu or coughs hit me haha...my friends were like 'it's not H1N1 rite?' yeah right.. =_='

So now that I'm already in week 4 of the semester, as usual, assignments are piling up and it seems that there's no end to the reading lists and not to forget the 6 books that I've borrowed from the library for reference purpose...I felt like I'm already drowning in the sea of books...well at least I was drilled by Ms. Grace back then to read up on all the literature books back in college and thus far, I'm really glad and thankful that I could still handle it =D though drowning, I'm enjoying the sea water as well xD (what nonsense..)

About the assignments, since this is the very 1st time that I've actually approached such question and as you can read in my previous post I was kinda stressed up..hehehe(typical me xD) and hyper-ventilating as Clare used to put =P, I'm finally done with that essay and surprisingly, Mr. Gilmore said that I was right on track and he said it was impressive as I'm only a 1st year student when I approached him to show him my draft =) Felt so 'victorious' *glorious music playing...* the next thing I know, I'm popped out of a bubble XD Of course I wouldn't know how it'll turn out since I've not submitted up the text proper..so...I really hoped that I could get a credit at the very least and better still, a distinction band. More essays to come and boy I really miss those fun times in literature and law class where genuine laughters and warmth is greatly felt...not to forget pieces after pieces of writing and comparing between novels...feeling rather nostalgic now...

Nevertheless, I've been admitted to this international institution where this will be the stepping stone for me to achieve that dream which I've always longed to and it would continue to be a never-ending process of learning, experiencing and living the scholar's life for the next 3 years or perhaps 4 years (if I'm lucky). Although it's not a bed of roses, this experience had certainly set my grip firmer and anchored the strength in me to keep on pushing.

Deep down, I've came to a realization that He will reward me back as much as I've put in during this whole journey whether directly or indirectly, whether soon enough or near future, it is just the matter of time and perseverance.

B-L-O-O-D-Y H-E-L-L

2009-08-07T18:51:00.002+08:00

ARRGHHH!!!!!! BLOODY @#$%^%!$^*tt@#$!@

It is either I complete the darn bloody assignments or I'll go burn the Australian Uni >:(
What sort of bloody questions you're asking?

You see? What stress can do to you?

I probably need a good night sleep but HOW ON THE BLOODY EARTH YOU WANT ME TO FINISH READING TONS OF MATERIALS IN JUST 2 DAYS? BE REASONABLE LAR

see how I'm gonna suffer bcoz of y'all...screw you people in class...bloody hell...

Where are all the 'real' people?

2009-08-03T17:58:00.003+08:00

First things first, I'm in no surprise that humans are indeed thickly masked by layers and layers of fabric, be it something bad or something one might feel ashamed to disclose, that is fine with me and I don't care whether one hides them intentionally or choose to expose EVERYTHING beneath that shiny mask, I seriously don't care and wouldn't care about it. BUT, something did taken me aback when the really unexpected hit me, well I guess you could say I'm bullshitting but seriously, no matter how much I say those are none of my business, when something unexpected as I said being thrust to your face, you just have to acknowledge it and to me, it just shaken me a bit...well, one musn't judge a book by its cover. I didn't wanna make it so direct as I'm afraid that I might offend someone...Sometimes I'm wondering whether is't me, myself and only me who's sight hasn't been exposed to the real world or am I having a right judgement?

Yet again, life's unexpectedness.

Anyway, haven't got the time to blog recently...yea yea, I hate it but I have to say the usual cliches that my assignments and reading materials are piling up bla bla bla...it's true anyway...my friends were like, 'wa y u start studyin so fast??' I was thinking to myself, 'huh?! so fast? it's already the 3rd week of the semester and our assignments due dates are getting closer, don't you people care bout ur studies?' ok, maybe I'm just plain paranoid, but hey, I got in to Monash not for the parties or just for the sake of expanding my social sphere but I'm here to get that piece of cert with an Honours...I'm blabbing again, I know it's kinda impossible but still, I'm taking my 3 years seriously and you know how much I took to get in to Monash?

Fine, just call me a cracked nut.

Anyway, attended a Arts Transition Programme last Saturday and we did had fun! =D my teams went 1st for 'Book-Hunt' xD and I won a comic book! haha Nothing much to update recently except that due dates are coming soon and I'm just sooooo worried bout that, I can't even start a single sentence for my essays which means I'm so screwed...well just hope for the best after I've seen some lecturers to clarify my doubts.

Had lunch with Jamie and Chin San in Sunway Pyramid and it was also the very 1st time I've ever been there! =_=' all thanks to my dad who just refused to get there BECAUSE OF THE JAM which in my opinion will not occur in the morning =_='

Oh by the way, thank you soo much for the lunch Jamie! =D I really appreciate it! Will get you something nice for your birthday yea!

And seriously, ISA should be demolished or at the very least, go through a REFORM for God's sake! The purpose of ISA is being misunderstood and please people, it's not like a charge or a rotten egg that you could just throw it at anyone...grow up =_=' so, Anti-ISA protesters caught and arrested under ISA...ironic...it's just a PROTEST for demolishing ISA, doesn't mean that we're raising RACIAL issues =_=' c'mon...even the Malays were protesting...what you have to say?...oh, ISA is something for the gov to CONTROL or SILENCE racial issues...and going against ISA means something different to the pro ISA-ers? Hmmm...dare not say too much after I pulak kena tangkap ISA?! =p

And I really missed the life back in college...=( those small little classes that we had and we basically know everybody in the cohort which is very unlikely to happen in Uni...wish I could just turn back time...Back then, almost everybody was warm and sincere, now, everyone seemed so cold and distant...

Those good-o-times...

(As it goes by…)

Sunrise
Sundown
I look in your eyes
I sometimes frown…

Daylight
Twilight
Living in a single phase of time,
Have we ever looked back?
Have we become loyal slaves to time?
Chasing nothing…
But time…time…time…

Has it really been decades?
Whereby flowers had stopped blooming
And my age is catching…

It seemed so far behind
When flowers of crisp-cross decorated my life,
With childish games and fantasies…

Too fast…
Too fast…

Party in the Fallopian Tubes xD

2009-07-24T22:44:00.003+08:00

OH MY GOD GUYS!!! u people have to read this...I've ran thru Ms. Angeline's blog and this is what I found...it was sooo hilarious that I couldn't stop laughing!!! XD hahaha

Question: Why do we need such a huge number of sperm to fertilize an egg?
Answer: The more the merrier.
Eh? A party must be going on in the Fallopian tubes.

hahaAHhahAHahAH!!!!!! *laughing crazily and rolls on the floor with a stomach cramp*

Of Uni life and body aches XD

2009-07-24T19:17:00.002+08:00

Hello there peeps! How's everyone doing out there? *kinda pointless asking this question right?xD* anyway...I'm still gonna go on blabbing hahaha

So it has been a long week indeed ever since lecturers started, apart from the usual 2 hours to reach uni and the waiting for the shuttle bus trips which took forever, everything was pretty okay so far, except I'm gonna expect a few more zits to pop up after the long lectures, tutorials and assignments. Wasn't too sure how to manage it at first, but after what former law lecturer Mrs Dharma told me earlier on, I guess I'll just pace myself and take things at once since I have the tendency to go bonkers and overwhelmed over stressful stuff xD Still, the culture in Uni is definitely different somehow, and not to forget the textbooks that cost waaaay beyond the reasonable prices of college books...well, somethings gotta give...

Now, about the lectures, oh by the way I've managed to allocate one of my tutorials to a 12 pm slot instead of the usual 5 pm slot!!! that's means I wont have to reach home at 7 or 8 anymore!!! yay!!! hahaha...one of the more 'lively' lectures would be International Studies by Mr. Tony and Psychology by Dr. Chan and she's a 'Kiwi', a New Zealander! =D

Management Studies was somewhat tensed I'd say when our lecturer 1st started off, we were told to consider other subjects if we are taking this as an elective since this is one of the toughest subjects and a lot of our seniors didn't made it which really freaked my out at first, but I was thinking, what would be the effing point of going to university if one is not willing to take up the challenge? So I guess I'd be bugging Dr. Chew after every lesson xD I really hope that she wont see me as this pathetic fella who doesn't seemed to understand the topic xD

And so, life went on and I just a fantastic badminton session with Weng Chung and some MBS friends. Really had fun today and I do look forward in having more sessions with you guys and we played for 3 hours today XD haha...I haven't been really exercising for weeks and it's gonna be hell tomorrow with all the sores and aches all around =_=' thankfully my joints are not dislocated hahaha!!!

Assignments are piling up even it's still the first week =( but heck, if they can do it, so do I!

OMG!!! THIS IS FIRST TIME I'M SAYING THIS!!!!! O.o hahaha

Okie dokie...gonna go out for dinner now, see you guys in the next post! Adios!!!

Something of the new, someone of the past

2009-07-20T19:11:00.003+08:00

Do we call the above statement as the usage of literary device? xD

Anyway, my very first lecture had officially started off this morning and I've spent 2 bloody hours just to reach the entrance of Monash =_=' mind you, 2 HOURS!!! Nevertheless, I'm still early =D 20 minutes earlier than the lecture..see that's what we call a punctual student xD hahahaha...

So we had Communication Studies today and I was such a genius that I'd kept on thinking I'll be having Psychology instead, despite the numerous times looking through the timetable =_='

Our lecturer, Mr. Callum Gilmore, an Australian I think appeared to be a nice guy, sorta humorous xD and upon the first sight, we M'sians would say 'selamba' which means he takes matters lightly, well of course not in terms of academically but, in general (that's what I think) but anyhow, he's still a friendly one =D

Mr. Gilmore lectured about the general Key terms that we will be encountering throughout the whole course and we touched on the topic regarding the influence of media towards the shaping of a certain culture and it was indeed funny to watch a clip about the misrepresentation of Arabian culture and people by the silver screen production companies especially by the Hollywood productions. He'd also talked about the 'convergence' of media over the years, and how it actually came about from the very same aspects.

Nothing really interesting happened but our lecturer was surprised that our group actually preferred the newspapers than reading e-news of magazines xD and he said there were only 4 students out of the hundreds who read the newspapers in his previous class..haha...and oh, talking bout communications, Facebook seemed to be the 'in' thing that almost everyone in my class has an account and it's like a 'sin' not to have one..haha..and Twitter is starting to catch up the footsteps of Facebook and Youtube...Mr. Callum made a remark that the 'fella' owning Myspace is really unhappy about it xD cos it's like fashion you know, as what Heidi Klum always says in Project Runway that 'in the fashion industry, one day you're in, the next you'd be out' how true xD

Apart from the lecture, I've actually met a primary 3 classmate after a good 10 years =D Chin San, whom I've lost contact with her for almost a decade finally appeared in front of me after Jamie, my course mate introduced her to us. The instant that her side faced me, I recognised her, as pretty as always, she kinda forgotten who am I, but after some prompt, she did remembered..haha...so indeed, the world is so small and it came as a blessing I guess =D

Alright, that's all for now people, off to more reading and TV =P

A whole new thing to start off

2009-07-14T09:44:00.002+08:00

Hey there people! yeap, I've finally completed a post of 'remembrance' haha...anyway, really hope you guys would like it.

So now that I've unofficially started my uni life, the feeling is rather weird considering the fact that I was supposed to feel excited, nervous and anything at all but feeling numb and neutral...well of course I did feared about the the complexity of people there and at times, I was actually imagining things that I'd be a loner all by myself...now that really started to creep me out. But thankfully, I was able to get to know some of them as I had not really went all out to meet new people when the other friend of mine, Jamie was already talking to random people and started making friends with them. Well, maybe to me, it's not the time yet perhaps and who knows in times to come, I might carry some true Friends with me with the rest of my life?

Anyway, enough of these nonsense. So I met one of my former MBS school mate Marcus and apparently, there's an ex-classmate of mine, Yew Chiang who is also studying in Monash, Business or Finance I think...But the it was really fun meeting Jamie(mind you, it's a she) XD she was from Sunway college, same goes to Marcus. We were allocating our time table yesterday but the system is down, so we ended up planning them online, laughing and cursing through the jam-packed lectures and tutorials haha...if it goes well, I need not attend anything on Tuesdays =D weee!!! good thing is that at the very least we some common classes together, now that we don;t have to be stranded alone xD..not that I mind, but, the closeness between friends will contribute to the effective teamwork of project groups...so I'm gonna start hunting for buddies for assignments xD I'm sounding manipulative...hehe..but of course, not just for the sake of being project partners lar...

So, I guess that would be all for now, will be updating again soon...hasta la vista! adios people!

A page of friendship, A lifetime of memories.

2009-07-06T12:37:00.024+08:00

Not many people acknowledge the very goodness of meeting new individuals that even such an act is those little miracles that are hanging all around the tree of life, waiting for the right time and the right moment to ripen... Which is why, meeting these bunch of friends is one of the best moments of my life and I'm just thankful for the chance...

The story begins when I met these 2 groups of champs =D

The Sciences who are PRECISE and witty XD

And the Arts...who are close to heart and plentiful of colours =D

Yeap, and that was it, since I took a combination of Biology, literature and law, I sorta had the best of both worlds, which constituted to the interesting DIVERSITY of friends I had...(there you go, Biology....hahaha

So let me introduce you to some wonderful people whom they're gonna be stuck with this fella blogging here in their minds for the rest of their lives XD (sequence is in random)

L-R: Me, Kean Liang(the calculator and scholar =P), Kit Wai(the lover boy XD),and Ganesa(the nice and quiet guy =D )

These are my closest buddies right from the moment we met each other on the 1st few days of college. Instant buddies, as I said before and whenever you see any of us, the other 3 would be around xD I really had a great time with these guys...

Ahh...the mighty Queen Elizabeth...always accompanied by her friends or should I say the 'ladies-in-waiting'? XD we all call her 'cili padi'...don't be fooled by her puny size when she has a voice and temper like Zeus..hahaha...she's a faithful one towards God, always a sunshine and always soooo stressful xD hahaha...Eliz, that you can't deny =P

The sweet natured Stefanie and the future Mrs. C... hehehe... (evil grin) will never forget her cheerful 'hi Choon Choon' cute name huh?? =_=' hahaha thats what she called me. Keep on shining stef! =D

Kah Keat on the left and Chi Kean on the right. Both are fun, both are witty, Kah Keat will go bonkers after half a glass of vodka and Bacardi XD and Chi Kean doesn't seem to have any temper xD, together, we are here to bless everyone none other than smiles....(GRIN) =)

Elissa and Snokee...two of the sweetest beings I've ever known. Elissa the David Cook fan and Snokee...aww...I can never forget that laughter of yours that could instantly bright up our day =D if I have the chance I'd seriously put up a record of ur ha-ha-ha-ha xD

Michelle, the one on the right...(sorry I just sneezed in this pic hehe) also a sweet tempered girl =D

Sanam =D the lecturer-before-exams she can shoot out never ending facts in a COMPLETE sentence non-stop for almost 5 seconds =P thanks alot for the revision sessions we did together especially for BIOLOGY! (I have NO idea when this pic was taken...credit goes to Stef XD)

Denise..awww...I just can't stop saying that she has such a heart warming smile and looks =D

Brandon xD the ONLY guy who could tell a joke with a straight face and say things that are RIGHT-ON-SPOT hehe

Stephen....life wouldn't be interesting without our dear Stephen =D

Yeap, that cute looking guy with his hands up is none other than Jia Hui xD we were having so much fun during the orientation ball...he's an absolute scholar and nothing less than a genius =D

The melodramatics from Music and Drama Club a.k.a the MAD club! xD

Back row: Ka Hui(our dear president =D), Bernard (the LAMER =P), Meee! and Chi Kean
Front: Alexis and Mei Xin (Miss-nicknamed Blur-Blur =P)

You see, classes wouldn't be as fun as it had been if these bunch of guys and girls aren't present..our very dear law lecturer Mrs. Dharma, is someone not to be taunted with and fooled around but when it came to jokes and sarcasm, she is da BOSS ya'll XD

And our favorite ex-Biology lecturer Mrs. Sharma, our college mummy who never gives up on us and we are all A1 students in her eyes =D

Ahh...Mr. Ratna, we got him during 1st semester and the last semester after Mrs. Sharma left for New Zealand. His notes are S-U-P-E-R-B xD can never forget his Power Point lessons haha..

As for Literature class, it's a waste that we didn't take a picture with Ms. Grace =( but still, lessons were enjoyable as this was my favorite subject after law =D oh and the highlight of it,

Clarissa + Alex = Choon Hui as spectator + interesting drama xD hahaha now you guys figure it out...Clarissa, you TOTALLY know what I mean huh...hahaha

Oh, and boy! do we not love birthdays?! =D We tend to celebrate them like our own xD

This is the very 1st birthday that I've celebrated in college, Stef's birthday was in Times Square

This is Michelle's and Divya's B'day in the canteen

And my very own birthday =D where you can see Stephen is busy 'messing' with my cake XD hahaha and Thanks alot for the cake Clarissa =D

This event had drove us all crazy...especially the few moments before it started...it's none other than the 'Greek-themed' fashion show cum sketch...but at least we did had fun choosing the cloths and those sorts of materials, didn't we, Kit Wai? xD

The Orientation Ball was not such a bad occasion after all...the fun part was during picture time! haha...

This looked like a family portrait xD haha

Moral project buddies!! Thanks for the dinner that night before the carnivaL Brandon! =D

Back: Brandon (Project Manager =D ), Kenneth(The MACHO one who lives in the

shadow but worked hard xD..no offence Ken!), Pon, Ganesa, Ah Liang hehe, Stephen

Front: Jia Hui (Assistant P.M =D), Me, Harry(the one who worked hard without complains =), Ah Wai =P

Ahh...the very night we finished our January papers! had 'Yee Sang' at our favorite restaurant 'Gossip cafe' which had closed down due to stiff competition =( and thank you Eunice for bringing us the joy b4 new year =)

Left-Right: Ann, Me, Mark, Harry, Stephen, Kean Liang, Jiah Hui, Kah Keat, Eunice, Jessica, Sue Ann

The best part of the journey, the recent Genting trip!!! A shout out to Brandon, Jia Hui and those who helped made this trip a success though it's just for a night...now that I know my vocab is degenerating after a few games of Taboo and I've learnt some Mahjong skills from Chi Kean =P Can never forget those adrenalin pumping game stunts xD and Chi Kean, when you screamed your lungs out, you really sounded like an ' out-of-tune Mariah Carey'!! hahahaha xD

POSERS!!!! XD

Now this is Ghostly...haha...nothing surprising due to the mist that blocked the transmission of sufficeint light...it was about 7 in the late evening

Guess what were we talking bout? hehe xD

I truly apologize if I have not mentioned any of ur names personally but the rest be sured that I'll remember each and everyone of u guys till...sometime when I cross over to the other world =D

I have nothing much to offer as momentos, but here's a simple poem that marked our friendship. After the official exams, we're on our separate ways and I'll be starting uni tomorrow, stepping into another realm and the next chapter of my life. As Buddhist we say, it is called 'yuan' that we're all able to meet each other in this life and there might not be another time. So, this poem is specially written and dedicated just for you guys. To our friendship, I offer a toast, presenting the 'Finest of Wine'.

(Finest of wine.)

Deep in thoughts,
Bubbly streams of memories
Pours through my soul.
Like an aged wine of the vintage years,
I savored the momentarily yet lasting sweetness.
With a touch of FRIENDSHIP to the brew,
It takes me back to a stationed point
Where you,
Bought me the ticket of remembrance
That continues on ----
The journey of the never ending quest
For a fine wine.
Just
Like
A
Friend---
As fine as you.

Life's unexpectancy

2009-06-26T12:20:00.003+08:00

Just heard the sad new about the tragic death of M. Jackson. Not really a fan of him as mentioned in my Twitter, but his music and dance movements had certainly made an impact.

Rest In Peace.

(It went with the wind)

Emptiness -------
A moment’s solitude.
Emptiness
Like nothing before.
Of soil bound happiness and little miracles,
Emptiness but all.

Ashes and earth
Ashes and earth,
Often a birth
And then an urn.

Emptiness, emptiness
Like a shadow passing by,
Like a brisk breeze went by

A little tribute to the King of Pop, his family and friends. My deepest condolences.

Playful Come-back

2009-06-25T17:03:00.003+08:00

Yeap! it's Mariah's latest single 'OBSESSED'!!! this song is indeed expected to hit the highest spot in the charts and fill up all the radio stations this summer! In fact when I first heard of this song, I wasn't at all impressed but came to think about it, it's kinda amazing that Mariah can always come up with something new and this is just a way of being current and it's actually quite a fun song! Well of course there will be huge ballads and old school stuff coming up in her soon-to-be-released album this August called 'The Memoirs of An Imperfect Angel' catchy huh? haha...meanwhile do enjoy this auto-tuned and laid back song that is VERY addictive...haha...

O.o

2009-06-22T17:44:00.002+08:00

oh my...it has been a loooong time since I've last updated...website prob..can't log in with the previous password...anyway...I've finished my exam and it still hasn't sink in yet! hahaha...still in the midst of confused lala land...haha...

went out with Harry today due to some change of plans...even after the exams my schedule's kinda tight as well...haha..will be going to bro's center tomorrow, then granma's house on wed then a jogathon charity this thursday...hmmm...well at least I got to watch Valkyrie yesterday...haha...oh and I'm finally accepted as a student in Monash ^^ weee..... XD it may sounded lame but what I'm glad is the admission itself cos they're really particular bout the selection and some had been rejected even they've met the requirements...so really thank Him here =D

well since college is over and we are all awaiting to step into the new light far end, I'll have a post up about the fond memories that we'd all carved in the deepest of our minds and souls...so do stay tuned and before I end this post, a poem for u guys..and I'd reached 94 poem =D 6 more to the 100th...haha...and I've intended to have a special piece to mark the 100th poem that I've written =D

this poem is called 'Let it be time, for it is time'

(Let it be time, for it is time)

Let me dissolve in time,
For it is too short a life.

Let me be grounded in a crystal ball,
For I will be in goodness’s memory forevermore.

Let me a sculpture,
For I can witness the aging of present to history.

Let me be an urn, buried in legend,
For old is gold.

Let me be a painting,
For a moment captured be forever framed.

Let me be written into poesy,
For words will be eternally remained.

Let me be one with You,
For You is where I begun in time.

A stroll to infinity

2009-05-30T23:07:00.004+08:00

Hello people! 7 more papers to go and I'm still glued to the PC and TV..XD well..that's what happened when we have too long a break..it always gave us a sense of false security...that's really bad u know...haha

so...felt kinda random today and my PC is MIRACULOUSLY working faster than usual..haha..so just a poem that I've written not long ago...it's a piece when I was sitting there halfway asleep in one of my lectures =P ops..hahah...but yeah, it was extremely boring and worse still, it was in the afternoon...'gone case' hahaha

Beyond that, this piece highlights the 'blank' moments that we all had in our lives and how clueless are we in those moments that we nearly give up and thought that, that's all that we're left with...

It's called 'A wander to the unknown'

(A wander to the unknown.)

My head a stone,
My lids a two shutter,
My mind an emptiness.

Words dissolving into a sink,
My life a dream.

Counted blessings

2009-05-24T12:19:00.004+08:00

When it hits you like the strong ocean wave, you are fearful, at the same time, excited about what is it that it's gonna bring you.

You see, for all my life, I had never, never thought of even standing a chance in entering that particular university...for it seemed like light years away for that 'possibility' to happen. Partly because of the tuition fees and my seemingly 'excellent' results.

So, I was kinda shocked that my mom told me that I was about to be awarded this sum of money and I'm offered to complete a Bachelor of Arts (Psychology and Communication) Double Majors in Monash University.

I still can't seem to shake off that thought...however, my position would be guaranteed only if i could secure an 8-points in my forecast results...just wish me luck for that.

Even if I can't get in, I'm still thankful that I was granted such a great opportunity to apply for a university which stands at number 42 in the whole world.

7 more papers to go for my final Edexcel exam. Life is moving kinda slow, yet it speeds up when you are unaware of it.

I longed to hear the news from heaven.

*fingers crossed'

When cold water came rushing down the dying You.

2009-05-14T23:10:00.003+08:00

You know, sometimes when I look at the success of other people, I don't usually go bitching around and say 'oh hell who cares, I can do better than that blah blah blah..' but what I usually did is always a too detailed introspection. You could say I'm a sissy, I'm always chickenin out or perhaps for the more 'sensible ones', I'm just simply lack of confidence.

People used to tell me, WHAT?! writing poetry?! are you out of ur friggin mind? who the heck will appreciate?

Also, I used to get the hint that 'err...psychology...err...well...' yeah..meaning to say that the prospects aren't promising and yes, I get that.

So, I was having a long chat with my parents the other day. So instead of psychology, I'm sorta being whoosh to consider Mass Communication as my future under-graduate course. Not a bad one in fact since I'm no scholar, I'm no E=MC^2, I'm no musician and I'm aint no the smarties...that's kinda sad huh? considering the fact that everyone seemed to be so good at something and here I am, stuck in my own delusional and 'dysfunctional imagination'...see I don't even get what on earth I'm talking about...even my written English couldn't go any better...now I remembered what my lecturer used to complain and plus, I'm always the worst when comes to sentence structure and all those grammatical errors until my lecturer is fed up of telling me so...
(it's like a routine already you see...and it's that bad until you'd hear those words had became more or less like a 'chant' )

Once again, telling myself not to compare is like asking me not to pee when my bladder is flooded. What am I good at generally? Or what is my general interest in the end? My mom asked me that and I just can't seemed to answer...what I'm doin now, i.e writing poetry is not gonna secure me with anything. What? A column in the newspaper? A book? Hell no. But of course if u guys wanna publish my poems for me, I dun mind XD

Anyway, I've accepted that I'm not those who could study or really excel in something, but, no matter what I just had to move on and work my ass to the degree level and let time take me from there.

Now, I'm just gonna do what I do best =)

(Of Sheppard and wind)

The howling wind came whispering.
Hasting the wandering clouds.

Like a Sheppard,
Chasing his sheep
To somewhere they belonged.

'SUBTLE' expressions

2009-05-10T14:51:00.003+08:00

Exam starts tomorrow.

Lasts for 2 friggin days and a break less than a week.

This is the final chance. Now, or never.

SO WHY EXACTLY ARE YOU TORMENTING WITH MY F*CKING FEELINGS?

ARE YOU LONGING TO SEE I TEAR MYSELF APART AND QUESTIONS AND RAMBLES AND CONTEMPLATES THE F*CK OUT OF ME? JUST LIKE THAT PATHETIC HAMLET?

GO AND F*CK YOURSELF IN DAMNATION!

COS I AIN'T GONNA BE A SHIT LIKE YOU
AND I' AIN'T GONNA BE PUSHED DOWN FROM THE CLIFF BY YOU!!!

NOBODY, AND I MEAN NOBODY CAN TAKE THAT AWAY FROM ME!

When it comes to an end.

2009-05-06T17:06:00.003+08:00

( Pricking beauties )

Lying in the weariness
Of my soul and mind,
They intertwined
Like the roses and thorns.
Pricking beauties.
Tiredness swallowed me,

Is it time to sleep?

Is there another time?

2009-04-24T20:44:00.002+08:00

Yet again, uncertainty hit me... not quite the unexpected but it was still a hard blow. There goes all my hard earned grains, all being washed down the stream. How can I trust what I am doing again? Confidence? Bull shit.

Sometimes, it really seemed to be such a long, long road.

(It seemed such a long road)

It seemed such a long road…
Not a place to set my feet,
not a place to halt.
Could it be an ending?
An ending to these long runs,
but pain in return…
wounded by rocks and stones
I felt the stinging cut, deep in set…
I swallowed hard,
hoping time will carry it away
it never did…
Then,
Deepened by the storms and turmoil
that came my way.
I’m running out of breath…
Run!
Run,
Run…
I saw an ending near afar,
But I never would reach
the light that awaits me
till the last breath of mine.
That moment,
it seemed such a long road…

Of ambiguity and certainty

2009-04-21T19:11:00.002+08:00

Just finished my trials today. Didn't really feel much, just a sense of relieve for the time being. Sorta 'celebrated' Clarissa's Birthday and took my revenge on writing 'happy b'day' with a smiley on the front of her hand xD

We had English Literature 3 today and it was about 'Hamlet' the infamous character crafted perhaps a few centuries back. I choose one of the question on whether King Claudius is a villain. As simple as it sounds, this is not an easy one to attempt.

Was reading some articles about Hamlet yesterday. One of the central theme that revolved around the play is the theme of ambiguity and certainty. Two contradicting words. I mean duh...Hamlet is one dude who contemplates bout life and death philosophically and beyond 'all reasonable doubts'...sounds silly eh? Well this could be what the modern readers may perceive but try thinking about it, we fancy straightforwardness and a life full of roses. The more we mature, the more questions will spring out (well at least for the majority of human beings =P) and instead of a clear picture that we longed to paint, what we got is a blur figure of ambiguity. Of course I'm not tryin to be like Hamlet and (p/s I WOULDN'T want to) XD, but when we contradict ourselves, the questions multiplied. Or even slightest flicker of a subject can create a whole lot of uncertainties that will cloud our thinking.

So the point is, certainty is impossible to even show its shadow in the midst of human existence? Lets take a few moments analysing the play while we discuss about this statement.

Many people have seen Hamlet as a play about indecisiveness, and thus about Hamlet’s failure to act appropriately. It might be more interesting to consider that the play shows us how many uncertainties our lives are built upon, how many unknown quantities are taken for granted when people act or when they evaluate one another’s actions.
Can we know whether our actions will have the consequences we want them to have? Can we know anything about the afterlife?

Final question: Can we say for certain that we are going to wake up as fresh as any other days to feel the sun warming up your sheets?

This is basically what I mean.

(Will there be…)

Will there be,
A life that only bliss exists?

Will there be,
A day with only laughter and joy?

Will there be,
A moment of goodness that lasts for eternity?

Will there be,
A place like heaven?

Will there be,
A wish that will come true for once?

Will there be,
A prayer that will be answered?
Will there be,
A person as great as my MOTHER be in my next life again?

I hope no more,
My wish no more,
But my fears settled more…

My lullaby of life...

2009-04-20T14:37:00.003+08:00

(A rain’s lullaby)

The pregnant sky
Of countless infants,
Tip-tapping on the window
Near my table top.
With the world raining on me,
They drizzle away
My psyche sane.
Drowning in the pattering
Of heavenly grains,
I sleep myself to drowsiness…

My favorite poem for this genre.

I guess life is really that tough huh? I'm already experienceing something awful at this age and I seriously couldn't foresee or imagine what is going to happen in near future...My emotions are in a mess and I thank Lord Buddha that still have my mom to count on. I love you.

Sometimes, listening to the rain while you fall asleep is more comforting than listening to any other music or popping any pills.

I sleep myself to drowsiness...

Time in a line - An analysis

2009-04-08T18:02:00.003+08:00

So, I just wanna make a quick shout out that this post is especially for Weng Chung, the guy who used to own this blog and the guy who shared the same b'day! hahaha...oh by the way, HAPPY SOOOO BELATED B'DAY!!!! HAHAHA...

Time
In
A
Line,

I walked passed
the bookshops swiftly,

One
By
One,
They
Will
Close.

Ah Chung posted a comment and he was wondering why on earth does bookshops suddenly appeared in this poem XD Actually, this is one of my favorite poem as I'm tryin to create an illusion that time is always travelling in a single track, a one one way ticket to the unknown future, therefore the vertical arrangements of each word represents the motion of the passing time...it's as if a thread is hanging down from above.

About the books shops, the persona viewed book shops as the different worlds that consists of people from all walks of life since book shops are places where one could find books of any genres and on top of that, the metaphor behind the book shops is a comparison between his stages of life that the persona been through. So, as time goes by, he witnessed more and more people returned to Lord and how the lives of the deceased had lead can only be a fragment of memory in his mind. It is like how one got to know a person and as time passes, we understand their characteristics and who they are in person, is compared to the 'books' that the persona had 'read' and 'studied' from different bookshops.

From a toddler to an adult, one would know how much they had been through. We read colourful and illustrative books when we are young. We got books from another bookshop and we started to pick up a range of more complex words and grammar while we're sent to primary schools and when we travel along with time and how 'swiftly' the person had passed by all the stages in life, he recalls how he had lost most of the memories but just 'snap-shots' of the images in those time-scented books(his memory bank) and how the 'bookshops' actually closed down in his life and it's always time for him to search for another one when 'the-time-comes' for him to move on and he must be ready to accept changes that constituted to the impermanence of life.

So Mr Siew, can you comprehend? =D feel free to give your own opinions and criticisms k? see you guys soon!

Time in a line--------------------------------------------------

2009-04-05T17:45:00.002+08:00

Could time have the eyes of a mother's gaze, the soul of the forgiving Him?

I doubt so.

(Time in a line)

Time
In
A
Line,

I walked passed
the bookshops swiftly,

One
By
One,
They
Will
Close.

B'day pics

2009-04-03T16:03:00.004+08:00

Hey there! I didn't notice Snokee took my pictures while I was sucking in all the fun and noise...hahaha...here you go, a hilarious pic of mine getting the candle out with my teeth..hahaha...Chi KEan attempted to push my head down to the cake but I resisted...hehehe oh and there's this 'Ke po' punya Stephen XD that fella in red...forgotten what he said to me adi..haha

And a cake which says 'Happy birthday Choon Hui!' =D

Of Friendship and Fun XD

2009-04-02T17:21:00.002+08:00

When I'm leaving this world, I will leave with just my soul. Bare impermanence. The only heavy load that will cling on to me will be the memories. Yes. Memories.

Get it? *shake shake shake* hehehe

Yup. The memory that was implanted in the soil of mine will be a seedling that will germinate and grow up a tree of memories...

OK..I'm getting a lil' bit too far here....hahaha...for those who are not keen in Literature, what I mean is I had a wonderful time today and I will not forget it. =D hehehe

Uh huh...was my b'day today and my college friends surprised me with a cake and well...a warm 'usher' with a birth day song...I wasn't really expecting that although I kinda know they're up to something...hehehe...but anyhow, I really appreciated what you guys had done...just a card and some wishes is enough to constitute to my contentment...here, I 'd just like to thank you guys who got me the cake despite telling you all not to bring...hahaha...so thank u to the arts gang who bought me the cake, and the science for getting that lovely card!

Therefore, a song for you guys! =D no poem this time, but I'm sure to dedicate one in near future =)

Yeah, that's what friends are for =)

A touch of frienship is a touch of goodness

2009-03-29T17:17:00.006+08:00

On a second thought, life is not that bad if you have these bunch of friends to colour your day constantly popping up with surprises to cheer your day up =)

Needless to say, I'm referring to you guys =D

Ok...it all happened when it I actually lost my mp3 in college on Wednesday...yeah...sad indeed...there goes all my songs...but but but...that gave me an excuse to get a NEW one! hahahaXd how cool's that...ok i know i sounded so lame here, but I've been wanting to get rid of that Creative mp3 of mine which is battery powered =_=' and it's really in terrible condition till the extent it can shut down by itself while you're listening to the much anticipated chorus...hahah...so..I wasn't too depressed over it you see looking on the fact that I'll be getting the mp3 from a bran which I've always longed for since I'd regretted buying that lousy Creative piece of junk =P and so..I've got my self a B-series mp3 which costs RM149 for 1GB...not that expensive in fact...and I'm damn friggin satisfied with it.

Yup there you go, a splendid looking piece of device...haha...Thought of getting the black one, but as Kean Liang said, it's kinda dull and plus I actually wanted the white ear phones quite badly XD hence I decided to opt for this blue mp3.

All in all, I was very pleased with the quality and the functions available. However, the sound audio quality is definitely not as good as Creative's...I wasn't really expecting anything until when I was just walking around, surveying some other mp3s in Low Yat with Kean Liang, that Oscar nominated fella suddenly said that he wanna get himself a ear phone and asked my opinion about the sound quality and the colours available...being the dodo bird as I am, I totally believed what he said that he need one for his mp3 despite the fact that he already has a mp3 Walkman phone...and interestingly he kept on asking me if I were to own one, what sort of style would I like things like that...still I did not suspect anything at all!!! in the end we found an in-ear headphones which I'd claimed that I've never used this type before and again, I was curious why don't he buy now? in spite of telling he can lend me money if I were to buy the mp3 that day...

so on the next day, we all went and buy the stuff that we wanted to and while I was purchasing my mp3, he and Kit Wai went to the shop that we've been to yesterday to get the headphones. upon leaving, another Oscar nominated actor said that he would like to change the smaller plastic bag withe me and so the gullible me stupidly agreed. Within a few seconds, he said 'ei, your bag is not closed properly' and as I wanted to zip it myself, he insisted he would help me. (see how great their acting skills are? XD) ok...so I reached the Lrt station. Of course while you have the opportunity, one will always be eager to gaze at the precious that you just bought right? And so, I found that headphones were in my bag. even until this point, nothing at all crossed my mind and i even messaged him that he misplaced Kean Liang's stiff in my bag and I'll keep it for the moment until next Monday and guess what? the next sms i received totally came as a surprise to me as that earphones were an early Birthday present from 6 of them....and I was like...gaping in the midst of the confused passengers who were looking at me...hahaha...I ended up calling telling them that they're all Oscar winners...I always thought that no one can snatch away my title as 'the Best Actor' for...err god-knows-how-long XD until that very day....haha...as what ah kit said, this is the sweet revenge for my mischief all these while for always throwing surprises at them...ahaha...having said that, the earphones costs RM79.90 which in turn if i were to know, I'll certainly go for the cheaper one...hahaha...

And the sound quality is SUPERB...the bass is enhanced and blocks out most of the background noise...this is what you'll get for 79 bucks. What adds on to the quality is the touch of friendship. Though it's a present from a few, but the sincerity is enough to last for a lifetime.

Just a quick shout out to Kean Liang, KiT Wai, Ganesa, Stef, Divya, Michelle for the very 1st b'day gift! thank you guys! =D

I never know being appreciated or merely being acknowledge as a friend can be that great!

Twetty-twitter

2009-03-19T18:02:00.005+08:00

Yeah...twitter... I was browsing through a daily forum with updates of Mariah, and I noticed she had a 'twitter' account...so...I'm kinda curious bout that 'twitter' thing and so I went to check...and it's like a...ahh..I'm lazy to explain XD let the web do the talking...here goes...

Twitter is a social networking and micro-blogging service that enables its users to send and read other users' updates known as tweets. Tweets are text-based posts of up to 140 bytes in length. Updates are displayed on the user's profile page and delivered to other users who have signed up to receive them. Senders can restrict delivery to those in their circle of friends (delivery to everyone being the default). Users can send and receive updates via the Twitter website, SMS, RSS (receive only), or through applications such as Tweetie, Twitterrific, Twitterfon and Feedalizr. The service is free to use over the web, but using SMS may incur phone services provider fees.
As of March 2009, Twitter has received more visibility and popularity worldwide. Twitter is often described as the 'SMS of Internet' in that the site provides the back-end functionality (via its APIs) to other desktop and web-based applications to send and receive short text messages often obscuring the actual website itself. This extensibility of the service has earned it more popularity than it would have garnered if users had to visit the site to use the service.

Get it? haha...it's basically 'Facebook minus all the other functions except the wall where you can write anything' kinda boring but think of it, it's quite cool in fact for lazy people like me XD hahah..oh and you need followers to read ur updates on what u're doin...and u need to follow others to view their updates...so go get one guys! haha..this would be my page's address,

http://twitter.com/passion_chris

Anyway...the games carnival of my college will be held on this Saturday...and I'm just so lazt to type bout it now XD sorry u guys...haha...i'll update more bout that day's events later on..just came back frm college la...very sienz and tired...XD

I'll promise u guys photos this time..I SWEAR! XD

Of droplets and rain

2009-03-13T17:33:00.003+08:00

Results were out yesterday.

And need not to say, I did badly. Enough said.

Well, the only thing I can say is that I got an A for Biology paper 2 and that I've FINALLY passed my Maths...yay...=_='

Sometimes, just like how Wai Lun said, life just get shitty. For all the hard work that you've put in, and this is what you get?

I'm not referring to anyone here, but a simple question, how do you guys define 'just' and 'fair'?

(Droplets of Rain)

Droplets
Droplets
Droplets
Droplets of rain,
Dampened the sadness plant in me.
Chilled,
Deep down the well of infinity,

No end - no end.

Until the final drop,
Roses blooming
Thorns beneath stems,
Pierced through my soul

Tearing apart – tearing apart.

Droplets of rain,
Taken me away,
To a place I’ll never be

Pricking beauties

2009-03-08T20:08:00.003+08:00

Another day of idling around...sigh~~~ yeah...the guilty me... results are soon gonna be out...and even after all the vows and all the 'I-swear-I'm-gonna-do-this-and-that...' yet, I procrastinate, I delayed my revisions. To all you guys out there, don't be me, once that instant of fire came to you, go ahead and work immediately. Unfortunately, I skipped most of the moment instead, I did something else. And bear in mind, these 'fires and passions' don't come often...they're like luck that knocks on your door and there's this saying that goes,

'Success occurs whenever opportunity meets preparation'

Been to a screening of Shakespeare's famed 'Hamlet' directed by Kenneth Branagh at the KL Performing Arts Center (KLPac). Intensively portrayed and cleverly screened. I wouldn't say it has the best cinematography, but the portrayal of all the characters based on the original book is simply stunning. Actors and actresses like Kenneth Branagh as Prince Hamlet, Dereck Jacobi as King Claudius, Kate Winslet as Ophelia and Billy Crystal as the gravedigger adds on to the spice of the whole plot. Well, sad to say that Shakespearean tragedies are morbid (duh...it's a TRAGEDY isn't it?) hahaha, and seriously, without watching the actual plays or movies, one may find them extremely dull and morbid as the expressions and intonations sets the atmosphere to the settings and better understanding to what Shakespeare is trying to convey.

To be or not to be?
That is the question.

Somehow, I was in a deep trance of thoughts. Thinking that will it be a day that I will become half as confused as Hamlet.

Perhaps,

I already had.

(Pricking beauties)

Lying in the weariness
Of my soul and mind,
They intertwined
Like the roses and thorns.
Pricking beauties.
Tiredness swallowed me,

Is it time to sleep?

The golden butterflies

2009-03-05T16:49:00.003+08:00

(Haiku in the sun)

One by one,
the falling pieces of Golden butterflies
dissolved with the wind.

=D

How's that people? This is my first attempt to construct a Haiku or Japanese Poetry. In fact at the very beginning, it did not struck my mind to make up one because initially it was a free verse and then while I was reading some poetry by Basho, suddenly I realised that this poem can be changed into a Haiku form and ta-dah! The birth of Haiku in the sun...hahaha...

Oh by the way, let me tell you how this poem came about. I was on my way home from a breakfast with my family. Afar, I saw the leaves dancing with a slight breeze on a bright sunny morning, and eventually fell to the ground. Therefore, they kinda looked like gold-tainted butterflies under the sun and once they drop, the gold colour fades. Hahah..that was my metaphorical poem...hope you guys enjoy it!

Just another gloomy day...

2009-02-25T18:48:00.003+08:00

Ok...I know I know... I've officially became the King of ALL Delays and Procrastination =_=' but not that my blog is visited by many people...haha...

Busy busy semester. Too many things happened at once, it's unbelievable that our AS results are coming out next week...the moment of truth, the day where Hades awaits, with those eyes that penetrate right into your hearts like a blood stained sword...

Honestly speaking, I'm feeling so dreadful nowadays, not that I'm having any periods,XD but what is bugging me here were the unaccomplished satisfaction. Perhaps I'm just too sensitive, perhaps, I'm just that bad in everything I do. sigh~

(The Rainy days)

The Rainy days
With Rain
all day long.
Long, cold rain.
Droplets after droplets
Pouring down again and again
From the crying heaven
My dampened soul.
Dark, stormy clouds add on to the gloom…

That sun,
that hides behind those clouds,
will often peep though the tiny doors of eternity,
and the goddess of rainbow too came to the visit…

We’ll never know.
Never know when it falls again…

Whispers of Love...

2009-02-08T17:51:00.005+08:00

Happy Valentine's everyone! For those who has been shot by the winged-boy Cupid, may the love between lasts for as long as the immortals can live and cruise through the journey of endless love.

And for those who are not yet in love, I wish you all the best and may you one day be able to serenade the love song and croon a love story to be made in heaven with that someone special of yours in near future.

For you guys whose heart had been carried away with the tormenting storms of breaking up, always remember,
Love, takes time,
to heal when you're hurting so much... (love takes time by Mariah Carey)

And for those who are doubting their affection, cast that thought aside. Tell yourself,
I still believe,
someday you and me,
would find ourselves in love again... (I still believe by Mariah Carey)

And hereby would like to dedicate a poem to all that are loving and being loved. As said by Helen Keller,
'The most wonderful thing in the world cannot be seen or heard, or touched,
but can only be felt in the heart!'

(Whispers from within)

Love me tender,
Despise me not.
To you I whisper,
In heavenly court.

Peonies in the month of May,
Roses in the yard of yours.
Angels sing me a way.
To dance you to the floor.

Love stained sonnets of Shakespeare,
And Keats with odes of the imaginary.
With you I shall not fear,
For our love is like Cupid and Psyche…

A moment of ironic sacarsm

2009-02-08T17:51:00.003+08:00

What the hell =_='''

Ironic sacarsm?

Why not sacarstic irony?

*yelling and screaming and swearing and cursing like there's no tomorrow*~

Ever wonder what on earth do I mean? Even myself can't comprehend, can you?

OK...back to reality. Felt like a stranger to my blog now. Sigh...sorry dear, been leaving you for so long...wish I could be by your side...*I'm having gooseflesh now...* XO

Here I go again...huh.....

Anyway, it has been a new semester for me, a 'pathetically busy' sem for me, I'm not too sure whether I'm sorta 'enlightened' to the fact that time is running out or simply because I've grown matured in someway, knowing that frolicking time is over...that I've became more hardworking than my usual self. I guess time really changes us... (ah...poetic) as what Kenneth may say...hahaha

Yeah as I said, this semester is really packed with nothing but assiagnments, research and more revision...I think I'm slowly developing speed reading skills XD hahah...nah...that was just a joke...hehe...

So Valentine's Day is just around the corner, and I seriously hope you guys out there won't break up just a few days before Valentine's ok...(no I'm STILL not in a relationship) XD

And, keep visiting my blog often cos I'm about to reveal my first poem about the warmest feeling between LOVE birds =D

Moo...I'm free 'cow cow' from exams! XD

2009-01-25T12:36:00.008+08:00

FINALLY! Those dreadful days were done! (well at least for now) haha! Funny thing was, despite of the previous excitement, that last day of exam to me was yet, just another exhausting day with endless chatter during the quarantine! XD

This is exactly the reason why I hate to blog after a long period of time (partly because i've became lazier, XD and I have absolutely clueless on where should I start =_=')

Exams?! =_='' I SERIOUSLY through with them! Like Clarissa said, MAJORLY screwed up Lit 2 for Emma and well, bio perhaps...sigh~ anyway...we'll just wait till the results are out during March and start saving for retaking papers XD (hello not cheap ok...140 bucks per paper)

Oh, right after the quarantine at 8, we went for 'yee sang' with the college buddies and thanks Eunice for bringing us together! Thank you Monitor! XD we ended up lou-ing the yee sang on a rectangular tray XD hahaha! had much fun with all their sarcasm towards each other and we kinda 'blew' the cover off Jia Hui for 'censoring' the names on his blog XD

Been busying spring cleaning the house and doing some last minute shopping...and boy the weather is killing! gotta get a few sleeveless shirts and I've been drinking few tanks of water everyday plus a few cans of 100 plus everyday =_='' and i've been eating all those 'heaty' stuff that are sooooo tempting and gosh...one would die if he or she were to deny the scrumptious texture in their mouth of the chinese new year food! XD

Currently, I'm indulging in the soft chords and country vocals of the Take That band members. 'how deep is yur love' was originally sung by the Bee Gees and I'm totally in love with Take That's cover version. Here's the MV...it's video is somewhat weird to me, but the song is covered well.

Gong Xi Fa Cai! Hei Pi niu er! (those who know Mandarin, u sure gonna know this XD)
may the year of Ox be a year full of uncountable blessings and may the god of fortune, wealth and health be around you 24/7! XD

I am who I am

2009-01-17T23:02:00.002+08:00

I
AM
WHO
I
AM I WHO I AM?

I can't think of any titles....=_='''

2009-01-17T21:35:00.003+08:00

Yeah... I can't think of any fancy titles for the time being...since I used to pay so much attention to the titles of my posts, I seriously have no idea at all about what title should I be putting at this moment....hahaha...let just leave it as it is....XD

So...changed my blog pic...well, it was supposed to be changed a long time ago, it's just that I'm being the lazy pig like I always do and partly because I don't have nice or proper pic and I wouldn't wanna put a huge pic of me (like ANDREW WONG) did XD...with a 'HOT' sign in his hands =_=' yeah...that was how bad...hahaha

Anyway, exams are coming to the end and I'm so distracted by the computer as I'm supposed to read the notes on Emma for my coming exam on Monday. And yes. I'm still here. =D how technology can be so of 'use' to humans eh? XD

Just had my Eng. Lit paper on Wednesday. Something silly happened that Clarissa just wouldn't stop cursing her brains out XD hahaha...but seriously...what the invigilator did was totally absurd and inconsiderate! I'm not gonna loose my cool here cos there's no point blowing myself to fire on something that is over and especially someone of no worth even mentioning off...therefore....but Clarissa!!! I'm on your side XD..do visit her blog and you would feel the claws on ur neck! way to go girl!!!! hahaha. It just doesn't make sense at all... i heard she was the exact same invigilator who invigilated the same paper last year and yet she's making a havoc out of it until Ms. Moey, our CEO had to be present just because my book and Amanda's had some scribbles, ok, I will say I did have a lot of scribbles BUT... they're with ink and it's frm my senior...what the heck am I supposed to do if no one including the lecturers couldn't find so called a 'clean copy' last minute? and since it's an open book test, what's the point of rubbing the scribbles off since the text book is allowed to be brought in? And who on the goddamn earth will have time to refer paragraph by paragraph of the notations where we don't even have a second to waste on flipping the pages...and psychologically, it really did affected us...ok...i'm not gonna start on this or else it would another dreadful post! haha XD

well...guess thats all for now and I just couldn't wait for the last day of exam...

6. 30 pm, Wednesday, 22nd of January 2009.

ngeyeh negyeh ngeyeh!!! XD

Hero~ a medly of emotions, feelings and voices

2009-01-12T18:38:00.004+08:00

OK... I know I'm being a lil' over the top now... but...in fact I have no idea what so ever why on earth I'm suddenly so obsessed with Hero....gosh...I've been repeating this song for God knows how many million times XD anyway...here are some different versions of her Hero whereby she re-sings this #1 single back in 1991 I supposed and I think it's because of her upcoming project The Ballads which is already in stores now...apparently she's gonna re-shoot some music videos for her compilation album...to some people, it may not sound as good as the earlier version and some said she brought fresh-ness to the song, giving it a brand new feel. Whatever it is, I still think no matter what, that legendary voice is still within her and the voice control of hers can no way be doubted!

Now, this is another cover version of her song Hero by the Brits from X-Factor reality show...it's somewhat like the American Idol, but, I noticed the arrangements of their vocals are too technical and they're trying to make it near perfection..well...nothing is wrong with tha, perhaps we're just too used in listening to American Music which emphasized more on the arrangement of music and the general genre instead of the vocals. Still, it's worth the listen. Their vocals are really strong and this is what we called - true talents other than (Amy I got bee-hive-hair-and-i'm-rehabed Winehouse, Britney-I-shaved-my-hair-and-i-won-many-mtv-awards Spears =_='')

Exams and Entertainment

2009-01-11T19:47:00.004+08:00

I am soooo totally in love with Mariah Carey's ''Hero''...

Ah...those gruelling examinations...what a week I had...and WHAT A MONTH I had. Few weeks of studyin Bio continuously, with extra 4 hours of revising in college =_='' and I seriously felt like puking...

So, Biology paper 1,2,3 are officially done, as well as Mathematics Core 1 and Core 2. Did barely ok for Bio, but I'm happy with paper 2 though, most of the questions that came out had been successfully attempted before ^^ hahaha....but maths...uugghh...

So, what is left...
13th Jan - Mechanics 1 (Lord help me...=_=')

14th Jan - English Literature Unit 1 (Drama and Poetry)
- Biology Practical unit 3

19th Jan - English Literature Unit 2 (Pre-1900 Prose)

20th Jan - English Literature Unit 4 (Modern Prose/ Post-1900 Prose)

22nd Jan - Biology paper 4

And I would be officially done with the AS examinations!!! Wohoo!!!

but as for now, the only paper that I had confidence in will be Eng. Lit. I doubt I would get an A as the allocation of marks and the way of marking is completely different since this would be the last year we're using this syllabus...a solid B would be more than enough. YES, I'M SERIOUS.

As for mechanics...I have nothing to hope for but a pass. Yes. It's damn pathetic and insufferable.

Bio...hmmm...in fact I have no comment at all. Just wish me luck and I shall be back blogging bout the post-exam activities and mayhem in no time XD take care people! all the best for those who are taking their exams out there in London! to Davidson, Ronnie and Andy who are also taking the Edexcel exams, all the best to u guys!

I'm still in love with 'HERO'...this would be her best performance of all time! trust me...you'll be mesmerized by her stunning power vocals...

Of Uncertainties and the Unforgetables

2009-01-09T22:23:00.004+08:00

Could the writings of Jane Austen survived through the century with the well known novels like Pride and prejudice, Sense and Sensibility and Emma become famed if she were to be married and gave up because of her position as a female novelist at her time which promises nothing but a frail hope of despair?

I can live by a pen~ Jane Austen from the movie 'Becoming Jane'

Could John Keats ever finishes his poem 'The fall of Hyperion: A fragment" and produced something more than Ode to Melancholy and Ode to Indolence if he hadn't got his illness that caused him a life and questioned about the role of poet?

Do I wake, or sleep?~ John Keats from 'Ode to a Nightingale'

Could William Shakespeare's tragic plays and sonnets, being world renowned if wasn't for the drmatization and his quest to struggle thorugh the revolution and the swinging of school of thoughts from time to time?

To be or not to be?~ William Shakespeare from 'Hamlet'

The thirst for knowledge.

The quest of a poet's role.

The breaking free from a position of nothingness.

The uncertainty of life.

It just seemed like a dreamy yesterday...

2009-01-01T16:31:00.002+08:00

Indeed...indeed...it felt just like yesterday...graduated from high school and waiting anxiously for college to start, and BOOM!!! here I am today, another semester of college life to go and then, sweet life is heard no more.

Yet another cliche oh-my-god-the-time-passes-so-fast moment. Oh yeah, as far as I wanna deny the fact and just move on with life, something still holds back and it forces me to accept the painful reality of how time is snatched away and of how much things that I wished I should have done or stuff that I shouldn't have done in the past. REFLECTIONS. Cliche indeed...well well...whatever it is, life still goes on in a single track, a one way ticket, a river of no return...yeah, both are oldies of the 70's XD

Anyway, I have no idea at all where to start of in this post as usual, but 1st things 1st, Happy 2009 to you guys out there, it's a brand new year, a fresh new start and the beginning of something new (well at least that's what I hope so XD) so, happy new year once again =D

I just can't wait to go back to college, not for the exams of course XD I'm just looking forward for the busy days and catching ip with friends and...well...for the day when Bio paper 4 is officially over at 6.30 p.m =_=''' I know..horrible time frame..thanks to the ang mohs...

Hmm....what else?? gosh its getting more and more boring here....hai....nvm then I'll judt end this with a poem called, Let it be time, for it is time...hahaha unique title huh..yea..its talking about how the persona wishes to just live a life which is kinda 'parallel' to time O.o? XD haha...well maybe the poem should do the talking..check it out! and may u guys have a great year ahead!

(Let it be time, for it is time)

Let me dissolve in time,
For it is too short a life.

Let me be grounded in a crystal ball,
For I will be in goodness’s memory forevermore.

Let me a sculpture,
For I can witness the aging of present to history.

Let me be an urn, buried in legend,
For old is gold.

Let me be a painting,
For a moment captured be forever framed.

Let me be written into poesy,
For words will be eternally remained.

Let me be one with You,
For You is where I begun in time.

A season of Greetings and Gifts and Santa! =D

2008-12-22T20:04:00.005+08:00

Hey blog buddies and readers! Merry merry X'mas to you guys out there who are enjoying the parties and the fun! =D gosh..I'm so full of joy now...hahaha...In fact, I don;t really celebrate X'mas, but the songs, the atmosphere and the greetings had definitely made me indulged in the goodness of the tropical X'mas of ours haha! And since it's such a festive and colourful season, here I am again, with a poem called 'What a season' and of course, this is to be dedicated to all that I've known which are...ok I'm gonna have a list here and since there are just too many, guys, if your name doesn't appear, please, safe back the swearing and cursings coz you know that no matter who you are, those whom I've had conclicts with before, everything went with the wind =D and you must know that everyone out there that I've got to know will always have a space right here in my mind =D

I hear the bells jingle,
Such joyful tingling, laughter in the air

I see the snow falling,
O white snow, how pure and white its flakes

I smell the roasting turkey,
In perfection wih a toast of sparkling heaven.

I taste the sweet smelling candies,
That melt instantly in mouth and to the heart of mine

I feel the warmth in this winter wonderland,
looking at the smiles and faces of the children,
calling out to Santa.

A winter with so much to give,
I wish to be in this crystal ball forever.

(To the people whom I owed my life to)
My dearest Mom and Dad and my baby brother Choon Ming (though you're already 17, you forever be my little bro XD

(To my life-time high school buddies)
Wei Keat, Thiam Sang, Weng Chung, Jian Fung, Harry, Wai Lun, Kheng Hong, Andrew, Tuck Man, Kai Jie

(To my forever cheerful cousins XD)
Sherry, Michelle (yan-yan XD hehehe), Douglas, Dennis, Pei Chi, Di-Di cousin bro xD, Jaylyn, Jayson, and alot more..hahaha

(To my college buddies)
Kit Wai, Kean Liang, Ganesa, Eric, Stephen, Mark, Harry, Jia Hui, Kenneth, Brandon, Bernard, Daniel, Pradiv, Alex, Pang Yean, Chi Kean, Kah Kiat, Aaron

(To the unexpected?! yet beautiful ladies XD)
Stefanie, Clare, Divya, Sue Ann, Michelle, Kartigha, Elisa, Jessica, Eunice, Mei Xin, Denise, Alexis, Elizabeth, Snokee, Jessica, Ann, Devina, Shenam

(To the lecturers endless words of wisdom=D)
Mrs. Shama, Mrs Dharma, Ms. Lim(aww..XD), Mr. Ratna, Ms. Grace, Ms. Melalyn, Ms. Angeline and Ms. Khoo (she's a wondeful administrative staff and soon-to-be-lecturer *I supposed* XD

(To my former School teachers...fantastic people! =D)
Pn. Munirah, Pn. Gan, Mrs. Tay, Mr. Gopal, Mrs. Lee, Mrs. Chen, Pn. Chan, Mrs. Ramani XD, Pn. Katuri, Pn. Wong, Mr. Peraganathan and Pn. Chong =D

To my best friends...you know who you are and last but not least, to the wonderful acquaintances that I met along the way

Michelle Yoong, Elaine, Eunice Lee, Melanie, Joey, Siang Ling, Kit Yoong, Adam, Ken, Amanda, Pearly, WenJo, Alithea, Annora, Pit Wai, Mei Sann, Shaz, Shan Lin, Chin Hean, Johnny, Melvin, Pui Yee, Kah Yee, Cynthia, Ms. Valli, Nick Teo, Alan Teo, Chu-Wen

(From Australia)
Mickell, S.T, Bobby Rodgers, Michael, Chace, Kyle, Robert Wilson, Mr and Mrs. Wilson =D Sarah and Nathan

(From the States)
A Poet Who Loves To Sing Alves =D, Elnathan John, Monique Danser, Fiona Davidson, Hunter, Sarrah, David

(From United Kingdom)
Baden Ronnie(Wolfy XD), Charlotte Hubbert, John Wojja Fink XD, Davidson, Andy, Winston

(From France)
Sophie, Tibaulle, Allora, Lucy, Ann, Francis, Timothy, Pierre

Now this took me about an hour to dig into my memory files in search for the correct names...haha...but anyhow, I just hope you guys will enjoy the poem and most of all, have a fantastic and blissful Christmas! Once again, Merry Christmas and Happy New year! =D and I am going off to a gathering cum party cum chaos cum god know whatever... tonight hahaha! XD

A mind of its own

2008-12-22T18:24:00.005+08:00

A mind with its never ending chain of memories, a mind of the unthinkable, a mind of a human being...

(My mind, my life. My life, My mind.)

A mind of world,
A world of mind.

Beaming with rays of life.
Drowning the last breath of life…
Into a cellar of deep, deep, darkness.

A place, where it is a home for fear,
It grows…
It is nurtured…
Standing small is the hardened stone,
Falling steep is the hero within…
The puzzle with countless pieces,
Floating on the sea of confusion,
Losing their ways
Losing their ways…
In the cellar they’re buried,
In the cold air they deceased.
What is left is what was left.
Turning into ashes…

A brand new existence.

A new breath of crisp air…
Sweet smelling scent that clears the mist of confusion.
A wave stronger than emotions
Washed over the shores of my mind,
Overlooking the endless ebony sky
Above the mighty cliff of my soul.
Where destiny of tomorrow came unfolding…
Piece by piece,
The puzzle will fit,
And the warmth will begin to fill that punctured void,
With blooms of passion-colored roses
And a touch of angels’ choir,
Slowly humming the pieces into place.
A garden of ease welcomes the fitted thoughts,
And we,
Welcomes the power of possession.

I am my life,
My life is me.

I speak my mind,
Sometimes, my mind speaks me.

oh..by the way, I had some of my poems posted on www.poemhunter.com. Just type Seow under poet's name and hope you guys will enjoy reading them!

The calling of a Voice, The souls separater~ If tomorrow never comes

2008-12-09T18:47:00.006+08:00

Just within a night, a lot were wreckly injured, 10 were spent their last breath under the ill-filled junk, the rest had been cast a gloomy spell that will be bound, perhaps for a life time.

Have you not any mercy? You ought to be dead instead of the spotless souls. Too late for blames, may you live with the darkest dreams for the rest of your life. A bus driver? A soul separater!

(The flower without petals)

Why, dear Lord?
Why…
Haven’t you heard my prayers?
Haven’t you answered them…?

I’m…
I’m…
Breathing my last breath…
Dear Lord…
Real soon…real soon…

Why playing games?
Why the punishment
For a sin that I never longed for?
Why you tear the petals apart?
Those stings,
How hurtful…
Dear Lord…

Please put your imagination to play.

Guys, it's not that I'm as old as your grandparents, nor that I'm as long-winded as your parents, but try to think if your loved ones left you without any last words or unexpectedly...how would you feel? A simple question. How would you feel? No, I have not loose my loved ones, but with regards to the bus crash on Sunday,

How would you feel?

To me, I would feel like the flower without the petals around it.

Put not just your loved ones but your friends and everyone surrounding you in that tiny box of yours. Look at them, and

Tell that someone that you love, just what you're thinking of, if tomorrow never comes.
~ Garth Brooks

Of facing, learning and dealing...

2008-12-06T17:15:00.004+08:00

Boy, people can be all kinds...and sometimes, it really gets on your nerves and facing, learning and dealing with these people can really make you go nuts!

I have just completed 2 driving lessons for 5 hours, (still it's merely 4 hours or lesser to be exact) since that instructor actually deducted the time to and from the place of lesson... =_='' and plus the time where he stopped for petrol and his BREAKFAST...(faints...) yeah...breakfast, and I'm not kidding...anyway we'll proceed to the next level.

So, this 'fantastic' instructor of mine was brought to me by my dad since he has got to know him earlier on and the fees was quite reasonable (not until what I mentioned earlier on) and I think he should be an 'okay' guy looking on the fact that he's my dad's friend and I would expect him to be a little more 'friendlier' than usual..but of course, on the fair side, I respected him as an instructor and I wouldn't want him to just 'kiss my ass' and ended up learning nothing. And then, nothing went wrong for the 1st 3 days when he drove me for a 5 hours talk, then six, and finally to the Undang test. That was not just about it. I thought he should be a reasonable man but turned out to be a total jerk. In fact, from the 1st time I met him, I have a sense of uneasiness and qualms that crept deep into my spine. But, I somehow shook it off my mind.

Not until the 1st driving lesson, the thought found its way back to my mind and proved that my 6th sense is right XD muahaha...which I'm just joking out of the fun =D Ok...so he took one whole hour and more to explain the main components of driving in the car itself and while he was blah-ing, I listened...yes, and I listened.

(Just a question, would you expect a new learner who has not been driving before for his whole life to absorb everything in one shot without even starting to drive?)

Furthermore, he also told me that 'ok nvm, when you start to drive later, I'll further explain to you and demonstrate...blah...blah...blah... then I started to drive. And my journey to HELL begun.

As I was driving, (for the 1st time in my LIFE), I made a few mistakes and one thing I have to admit that I am no quick learner and I pick up things quite slow at times, what more when my mind was filled with uncertainties and I was feeling a lil' bit nervous that moment. So I entered the wrong gear a couple of times and I left the clutch too fast while it's still under gear one, and I while I was changing gear, I accidentally stepped on the oil pedal a few times as well, and so...the scolding and yelling started. ON THE 1ST DAY OF MY LESSON PEOPLE!!! At the beginning I was contemplating perhaps I'm just too dumb to learn up the skills, but it is still my 1st time and I'm bound to make mistakes isn't it? tell me guys, if I'm wrong. Who doesn't screw up on their 1st time? (ok...maybe people like Thiam Sang, Jia Hui, Kishu and Kit Wai who are really smart enough to pick up everything in advance) other than that, people like me? no way! Seriously guys, I wish you were there to witness how terrible insulted and scolded me...you may say that I'm sensitive and I can't even stand such a small matter, wait till you're in my position and trust me, that fella will be out of the windscreen instantly...

So, I didn't utter a word at all but I kept apologising to him, it turned to vain. That shit face was not merely condemning or advising me on what to do but he gave me a-punch-right-in-the-face type of criticism knowing I am a fresh learner...I kept quiet the whole journey partly because I'm just too scared to go against him and I didn't wanna create any mess verbally. Until the second day of lesson, he kept on going until I was too nervous and the car broke down twice. That's the straw that broke the camel's back, I countered back at him, IN A NICE WAY...and his excuse? ~
'but I've taught you before and this is not the 1st time you drove already, you still make the same old stupid mistakes no matter how much I've told you, you people are always like that, when the instructor are pointing out ur mistakes and you people make a havoc out of it and said we're scolding you...'

And guess what he was doing that time? EATING HIS CHAR KUEY TEOW...

What the F*CK?! TO HELL WITH YOU I CAN LEARN WHEN YOU'RE OPENING YOUR SHIT FILLED MOUTH AND GIVING ME PRESSURE! I will not swear if nothing provokes me to this extent and I'm sorry blog buddies...

So the lesson went on and he cut of my conversation several times when I'm explaining my situation also IN A NICE WAY...hence, I was fed up and I zipped. So did he. At the end he actually apologised to me 'if he said anything wrong and he was sorry' which I doubt it was sincere by listening to his tone but I accepted it after all.

Told my parents about the incidents and I was quite surprised with their reactions XD I kinda expect they would say he's just a strict guy who who wants perfection, instead my mom told me that she did not seemed to like this fella when she met him earlier on. Great...at least they're standing by my side...Mom even taught me how to give him back if he attacks me again... XD haha...

But I still have another lesson with him (sighs~) and dad told me he would find another instructor for me just for the extra hours. I don't mind to have him throughout the course cause if I'm able to face these people, life would be easier for me next time but to accept their love in full, I agreed to change =D

Therefore the lesson is when you guys ever came across these kind of human, do not ever let your raging emotions get the better of you. Listen to what they say, calm yourself and later on, counter them back in a nice way (which is what the M'sians say 'give them back kao-kao lah') XD haha..about this aspect, I would say I did it, but I'm still in the midst of learning..and most of all, DEAL WITH IT as you never know that you will be working with these people for your whole life!

Phew! So done am I =D

Into reality of acceptence, ready am I?

2008-12-02T19:38:00.003+08:00

Good day people! Gosh..i know guys..i'm so so so sorry for not posting anything for god knows how long...a couple of things happened...the not-so-nice ones...but...today..i'm back with...what else but WORDS XD

So, for as long as I'm gone, it has been a roller-coaster, no, waaAy more than the roller-coaster spin!!! my oh my...this is life people..this is life...

Ok...I know I'm rambling here, lets just get straight to the issues. So, not long ago, Wei Keat just went off to Canada to live his dreams~ in becoming a top-class Aircraft Engineer =D and we've been to his farewell gathering which was kinda...intense, somehow... you have to be in my position to know exactly how I felt at the very moment when time ticked away and it's almost dinner time which means we may not see each other again after that dinner...

The reason why I did not want to post about the gathering is that...I don't wanna be reminded of that day's event...well nothing much in particular for some of y'all, it may seemed like just an ordinary gathering and friends leaving blah blah blah...but that was the day where few of us indulged in the very last few moments together of what we called 'close friends' or better still 'life-time buddies' (ok don't get me wrong, no one is DYING here) =_=' but try thinking about it, 5 years, err...may be 4 years, yeah 4 long years of friendship and what I mean by friendship is the REAL friendship...which lasts for a lifetime...not worth talking about it?

GO-TO-HELL

For those who has the balls to think that way. Period.

Then there came separation. The moment when the lift closed its huge, cold, lifeless metallic door, our emotions sprang out like a cheetah preying on its prey...I mean although I controlled my emotions well and I didn't had a teary eye, that horrible feeling that churned and churned in you was truly unbearable.

Over the days, as I've really came to accept that separation is merely part and parcel of life, and what would I be if either one of my parents have answered Lord's calling? Could I be crying and whining forever? Could I stop the time right there or just be travelled back in time or I could make myself another parent again? Never will I...

And that is why the Chinese always said, 'there is no fate without separation'. How true.

So what's the big fuss about it? are you Gay or what?

GO-AND-F**K-YOURSELF. Period.

I certainly think emotionally attached to someone has nothing to do whether you're gay or not and (if you are, that's a whole new issue) but back to the point, Wei Keat and I and our 'gang' had been inseparable ever since we've known each other...I've learned to accept and whatever it is, we are just happy for him as we know that this fella had struggled through life not physically but psychologically (he's not mad people =_='')

And then another painful separation. A t the train pick up station. Well thankfully no one really burst out sobbing or else it would be inconsolable...I felt quite numb that day, maybe because I've been through so much other than this and probably because major part of us had been let go during the night after the farewell gathering. Wei Keat's expressions were almost intense and it was not his usual self. We can't blame him though, he's off to a whole new world, all by himself and brace the storms that are yet to come.

And they are gone: ay, ages long ago,
...fled away into the storm.
(-John Keats~ The Eve of St. Agnes)

And life goes on...without single break or freeze. Have I really let go? Have really accepted that separation is inseparable with life?

Have I?

Down in the flood of remembrance, I weep like a child for the past.
(D. H. Lawrence~ Piano)

Poesy within oneself

2008-11-25T21:05:00.003+08:00

(Poesy of silence)

A wilting blossom,
A dying soul.

A gloomy day,
A candle-less life.

A raining afternoon,
A sobbing tale.

A starless night,
A void’s emptiness.

A song to sing,
A heart to be broken.

A mended heart, with broken pieces...

2008-11-24T18:54:00.004+08:00

You will never know that separation can actually tear your heart into a million pieces. The pain will eventually find its way to the deepest darkness and implants itself till you can never get out of the clinging of that nasty being.

For 5 years now, it suddenly dawned on me, where once had long became then, where the air of sadness gushed in and the fall of loneliness kicked in...

(Once, then.)

Once again,
A mended heart is broken.
The air of remorse,
Gushing across my sanity,

The fall of loneliness.

With a somber tune,
I hummed a song.

RandoM Rushes...

2008-11-10T21:39:00.004+08:00

'Heard melodies are sweet, but those unheard are sweeter'
~John Keats from Ode to a Grecian Urn

Talking about life now may seem a little bit too early. But trust me, life will get to you. Soon.

Hello people! Seriously, I have totally no idea on what to post about today. As mentioned before, words can fill your mind in a second but within the next, everything gone with the winds. Anyway, I had just randomly picked a line from Keats - my 'favorite' poet to just...err..you know, to spark some inspirations out of me..ha-ha... Just got back all my papers recently, failed Math, passed Bio but didn't do too well, PASSED LAW!!!!!! OMG!! this is the best that could ever happened to my entire college life!!! and got a B+ for Literature and guess what? I just couldn't believe that I would still be able to obtain the higest overall grade in class despite my terrible individual grades...haha at least it's something lar...although it's just like a few marks away from the ever-intelligent, English-power-house Clarissa...xD hahaha! but seriously she beat me flat in law whereby she had scored the higest in class beating the 'former best-scorer' Mei Xin aahhahah!! Nevertheless, I'm still glad that we actually passed law coz everyone was so terrified by this subject...

So...I guess thats for now and I'll be back with more photos next time when I blog...gosh..my eyes can barely stay open now...(yawns~~) so long and have a good night!

Behind the shadow of fear...

2008-11-08T23:49:00.003+08:00

*Sigh~* I'm scared. I'm feeling real scared. What has become of me? I...I just...can't seem to shake off the deepest fears in me... Not that I'm scared that I will not wake up tomorrow, but, it's just...something...that I wasn't able to clear off eversince...Ahh...someone just please fill me with words...

There are time when fear creeps into you and slowly, it infects each and every corner of your heart and somehow, you'll be able to survive but what is behind it, it's just unbearable...when I see other people, living their lives like there's no tomorrow...I actually envied them...perhaps, it might be a mistake for me to be born into this dimension, perhaps, this is my punishment from my past life, perhaps, this is just what I deserve, perhaps...

I know I shouldn't have talked bout this in the 1st place as what faced by other people will not even be a fragment compared to mine. But, I really hope that you guys understand and don't judge me too hard for who I am...no worries guys, I'll be instantly ok when I et up tomrrow. I just gotta sleep it off and that's the best way for keeping me 'alive'...hahaha...

Deep down, I really wished to reach out for that something.

(Behind a shadow)

The rain,
Just like the sour tears of my shadow.
Once again,
A spell is cast on me,
My shadow,
The figure in the dark,
The invisible in the light,
Follows me a thousand miles.
Never seen heaven,
Never heard of the angels.
I see the rain,
I see the clouds,
I see not the gentle soul behind the shadow.
Weeping like a lost child,
Sorrow’s sadness, settles through,
Deep, deep in the shadow of the dark.

Behind it,
A bleeding butterfly.

Heart of the relieved, heart of the decieved

2008-11-07T21:33:00.004+08:00

Great. I FAILED my Math. Isn't that the proudest thing that a Chinese guy can ever declare? Yeah. I guessed so. Many people had told me that oh c'mon! You're a chinese and Math is basically in your blood! And plus, you're a guy for God's sake! Yeah right.

I kinda expected it, but I still feel the pinch deep down. Never mind the trials, screw it. Easy to say. Hard to let go. Just a trial. Yeah, sooner or later it would be the real Edexcel exam. Funny huh people like me actually FAIL Math. I know everyone is saying oh please Choon Hui, Math is like the EASIEST thing you could possibly find in the world! Do more exercises...blah... I know that I've said this for the thousand times that I shouldn't compare, but... reality is all around us. No matter how hard you try to ignore the truth, the truth is, my Math still sucked. Like Hell.

Maybe Math is not my thing, I admit. Could it be a lie? An excuse to escape from all the injections of pain? Is that just an excuse to make me feel better? A big fat lie or a truth? What are lies and what can be considered as truth? Aren't we living on lies? what are the truths behind? We tell lies to make people feel better, we even tell lies to the children whereby we always ask them not to tell lies. What an irony.

Some people doesn't respond well to the 'after-effects' of lies. But I certainly do.

(A soul's prison)

Ah!
The guilty twist,
Churning my heart like a windmill gone wild!

The manipulated truth!
Stupid me! Foolish me!
Of how pathetically minded am I…

Sorry?
If only Lord forgives me…
I’ve summoned the demon to me,
I’ve awakened the devil from its grave,
I’ve spilled out the evil out of me…
Lead them to damnation!
Lead them to the pile of flaming flames!
Leave me alone!
Oh leave me alone!

A sinful tune I’ve just hummed
A blameless soul had I trapped,
Deep down the garden of thorns,
Deep down the chambers of untruthfulness…
Set him free!
Let him be!

It feels like being pursued by the angel of death,
As I can sense the momentary glare
from the viciousness of his somber eyes,
And haunt the nightmares of all nightmares

Can I keep this attic locked for eternity?
So that not a soul will venture?

That I shall wake in the arms of motherly warmth,
And sink into the bosom of truth.

Ah! Take me to your hands
And let the flow of pure water to wash away the filth
That long clotted the very stream of my soul…

I 'LOVE' exams...

2008-11-02T00:11:00.005+08:00

I HATE EXAAAAAAAAAMMSS!!!!! ARRRRRRGGGGHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!! WHAT THE F*#$%#%#@!!!!!

Ah...now I felt better. WAAAY better.

So sorry you guys, got to welcome you with all my 'pleasant' and 'fanciful' words...I majorly screwed most of my papers so far...especially LAW!!!!!!!! WHAT THE ... ?!! (ok..ok...deep breath...1...2...3...) Can't believe I screwed up, again. Despite all the exercises we did, it still came back to square 1... Clarissa and I were like oh shit, we're so f***ing dead...so so dead...some one shoot us please...
(imagining Mrs. Dharma pointing a bazooka at our face and fire, 'your results are PATHETIC!!! HEAR what I say? P-A-T-H-E-T-I-C!!! DON'T EVEN THINK OF BREATHING IN MY CLASS...KKAABOOMM...BOOOOFFFFF....)

There you go. A hell lot of pathetic crap happened. My Mechanics 1, uugghh... don't even mention about it. I don't think I could even get something higher that 10 marks... yeah... that's Choon Hui doing MATHS...(how terrible it sounds...m.a.t.h.s... =_= why can't they just name it, The Rule of Numerical Studies instead? No! Why in the first goddamn place this piece of sH*t existed)
my apologies again guys, no offense, but you DOknow

Choon Hui = hater of The Rule of Numerical Studies

Anyway...Not gonna have a long post or any poems for now coz' I still have loads to study and the next post I'll have a poem on LIES... big word eh? Stay tunned...

Finally...I'm back with words...haha

2008-10-23T18:08:00.004+08:00

Yeeloow people!!! ha-ha...Haven't been updating my blog for quite some time. Yeah thanks to all the law tests that is starting to suck the joy out of it...gosh I just had one today and most of us basically stared blankly at the question paper for a good 10 minutes before we started scribbling some unrelated nonsense ha-ha...So... we did Keats today during our lit class and it was an interesting lesson as Ms. Grace wrote out the major themes of his poems and asked us to relate the poems to the themes which nearly drove Alex crazy as we spot the poems like no one Else's business, where else he was scratching his head trying to figure out which one haha! and they're not many poems left since most of them had been convenientlyspotted by us...heeheehee xD

Can't believe next Wednesday is already our trials and guess what? I haven't even touch on Maths which is by far the worst subject for me. Wonder how would I even maintain a passing grade for my Mechanics 1...ugghh...Mrs. Sharma, our Bio lecturer just said that the Aussies are so proud of people taking Maths until they are capable of saying that nothing is more important than Maths and with Maths, you need nothing more... =_=' one word, PATHETIC!!! but anyway, good for you guys like Wai Lun who has been taking Maths and God knows what other branches of Maths is he taking and he's going to Aussie soon, so you'll be on top of the world. Ha-ha!

I used to wish that time was a flowing stream of river.
Now, I wished for time as a stagnant pool of water. How ironic.

That drove me to come up with this latest poem of mine called, Let it be time, for it is time. xD
Oh by the way, I have already written 64 poems. =D and I'm so very glad. It may just be words, but at least I do have something out of the extraordinary =)

(Let it be time, for it is time)

Let me dissolve in time,
For it is too short a life.

Let me be grounded in a crystal ball,
For I will be in goodness’s memory forevermore.

Let me a sculpture,
For I can witness the aging of present to history.

Let me be an urn, buried in legend,
For old is gold.

Let me be a painting,
For a moment captured be forever framed.

Let me be written into poesy,
For words will be eternally remained.

Let me be one with You,
For You is where I begun in time.

Tagged by Ms. Angeline...

2008-10-17T19:51:00.002+08:00

ALOHA people! now I cant believe I've actually asked someone to tag me...hahaha coz I think I kinda fancy this tag where you use the songs in the player to answer them and mainly because I have lots of MARIAH songs in my player (DUH...) XD so I asked for it..hehe...here it goes.

The Golden Rules:
1. Put your music player on shuffle.
2. Press forward for each question.
3. Use the song title as the answer to the question even if it doesn't make sense.
4. With the answers, give your own comments on how they relate to the questions.
5 . Tag at least 5 people.

1. How are you feeling today?
-One love by BLUE
Feeling loved? =D

2. If someone says, “Is this okay?” You say?
-Greatest gift of all by Jim Brickman and Michelle Wright
If i were to receive anything as a present, I'll say this is definitely the greatest gift of all!

3. What do you like in a guy/girl?
-Cant fight the moonlight by LeAnn Rimes
A fighter, but a moonlight melody at heart (deep huh??) XD

4. Will you get far in life?
-God bless the broken road by Rascal Flats
How appropriate!! A journey of life that's determined by HIM...Lord bless me =)

5. What do you think about very often?
-It's like that by Mariah Carey
ehh...like that lor...hahaha

6. What is 2 + 2?
-All that I need by Boyzone
4 is not everything I need leh...haha

7. What's your best friend's theme song?
-Mine again by Mariah Carey
hmm....I doubt it coz it seems MC has something against him...muahaha

8. What is the story of your life?
-Anytime you need a friend by Mariah Carey!
My story will not be complete without my buddies =D

9. What is/was your high school like?
-Time to say goodbye by Sarah Brightman and Andrea Bocelli
I hate to goodbye to my high school life...thats how I would describe

10. What is your motto?
-The greatest love of all by Whitney Houston
Inspired by LOVE and guided by knowledge =)

11. What’s the best thing about your friends?
-Open arm by Mariah Carey
Their open arms of course =D

12. What do you think of the person you like?
-I'll never break your heart by Backstreet Boys
heehee...

13. What do you want to be when you grow up?
-Can't let go by Mariah Carey
I can't let go of MONEY!!! so I wanna be a TRILLIONAIR!!! hahahaha

14. What do you think of when you see the person you like?
-Butterfly kisses by Bob Carlisle
hmm....the kisses?! OMG... =_='

15. Describe your grandparents.
-One moment in time by Whitney Houston
I've lost both my grandfathers and my my grandmothers are living in this wonderful moment

16. How's your life going?
-Baby can I hold you by Boyzone
=_=' can I hold you back Mr. Time?

17. What is your biggest fear?
-Without you by Mariah Carey
Living without you mummy. =D

18. What will be played at your funeral?
-As long as you love me by Backstreet Boys
yeah...as long as you guys love me.. =)

19. What is your hobby/interest?
-Because we believe by Andrea Bocelli
=_=' can't think of anything...

20. Will you have a happy life?
-Flying without wings by Westlife
The song explains it =)

21. What do your friends really think of you?
-Let the music heal your soul by Bravo all stars
hmm...soothing comforter? XD

22. Do people secretly lust after you?
-I stay in love by Mariah Carey
I'll say STAY IN LOVE PEOPLE!

23. How can you make yourself happy?
-Bringing on the heartbreak by Mariah Carey
=_=' never know that'll make me happy...

24. Will you ever have children?
-Everyday I love you by Boyzone
mom says she wants a DOZEN! =_='

25. What song would you strip to?
-How do you want me to love you by 911
=_='

26. What does your mom think of you?
-I will remember you by Sarah McLachian
She'll remember me as a good son xD

27. What do you think of your parents?
-After tonight by Mariah Carey
not just tonight, they're forever great, day and night

28. What is your deep, dark secret?
-At the beginning OST of Anatasia
at the beginning I was...(not to be revealed) ;-P

29. What is your enemy's theme song?
-All that you want by Gary Barlow
All that it takes to accept me as your friend

30. What will you dance to at your wedding?
-That's the way it is by Celine Dion
Celine Dion?! haha

HAHA..that's about it...so I'll tag...
-WENG CHUNG
-CLARISSA
-JIAN FUNG
-KELVIN
-ALITHEA

Have fun guys! =D

A thousand words but a silent void...

2008-10-10T18:57:00.003+08:00

Feelings. What a word. So much to say, so much to tell. Yet, it fails me.

My journey of life, certainly is a mountain of hills and valleys, a chapter of endless tales and a journey of roller-coaster ride.

At times, words just don't seemed to flow in our minds and feelings, yes, I mean feelings always got the better of you. I always ponder upon events that coincide my life and somehow, for certain reasons, I am unable to describe how I feel or who am I deep down in me, although this may sound like an 'ordinary emotional poet like KEATS' whom I never intended to be. Still, not a syllable I can say nor tell although at a certain point, I have been through so much that I felt I could write a book, after a while, gone are the thousand words, gone are the voices...Be it truth, be it lies, all burried in the deepest soil that no one can reach, and there comes a fountain of the untold and unheard.

(A thousand of a thousand)

A book with a thousand words,
Seemed like a never ending fountain,
That goes on forever-and ever-and ever.

My mind with a thousand emotions,
Feels like a sea of human faces,
Passing me by with questions unanswered.

The sky with a thousand stars,
Glint and shine like a goddess’ gem.
Decorated heaven with glows of the ancient guardian.

My spirit with a thousand sobs,
Nothing heals better than an erased memory,
That clings on to the core deep down in me.

The stream with a thousand glitter,
Turned into a river frozen with the untold,
Iced-up with the unheard.

tagged by Weng Chung...

2008-10-05T00:08:00.002+08:00

OMG...i cant believe i'm doin this in the middle of 2 am...great..no thanks to weng chung...anyway...i just wanna tag...err...CLARISSA, ERIC and MS. ANGELONTHELINE =D...so guys...u're tagged!!!hahaha..and guess what, this is the 1st time being tagged and the 1st time i'm tagging other people...

01. What have you been doing recently?
lots of internet and i've been studyin for my trials...sobs...

02. Do you ever turn your cell phone off?
yup, at night when i'm asleep..infrared waves bad for us lar..haha

03. What happened at 10.00am today?
-was having my breakfast at 6 happiness restaurant-having dim sum =D

04. When did you last cry?
-no idea xD

05. Believe in fate/destiny?
-definitely!! read my poems and u'll know =D

06. What do you want in your life right now?
hmm, MONEY!!! haha well health, family members being together and A's for my exams =)

07. Do you carry an umbrella when it rains, or just put up your hood?
-umbrella, ella, ella, eh, eh... =_='

08. What’s your favourite thing to have on your bed?
-my boaster =D

09. What bottom are you wearing now?
-NOTHING!!! 0.O''' hahaha shorts la...

10. What’s the nicest text in your inbox say?
-hmm some chinese text sent by Kin Yang the day before high school graduation

11. Do you tend to make a relationship complicated?
-never did, life shouldn't be complicated =D

12. Are you wearing anything you borrowed from someone?
-NO!!!

13. What was the last movie you caught?
-Band of Brothers on dvd...awsome movie!!

14. What are you proud of?
-myself i gueesed? hahaha, my height and my voice i guess???muahaha (perasan betul)

15. What does the oldest message in your inbox says?
-ai yor...i have messages dated back to 2005 la..haha it's bout a silly joke..haha

16. What was the last song you sang out loud?
-the american national anthem?! MUAHAHAHA not that i feel in love with the people...haha

17. Do you have any nicknames?
-not that i know....maybe choon choon called by Stefanie?? =.=' haha

18. What does your last received text message say?
-y u wanna know? heeheehee

19. What time did you go to bed last night?
-11.57 pm?

20. Are you currently happy?
-not really...hard to describe

21. Who gives you best advice?
-MOM!!!

22. Do you eat whipped cream straight from the can?
-i would love to do that =D but i do like to eat the cream 1st frm my favorite JUMBO PUFF bought frm KLCC..haha

23. Who did you talk on phone last night?
-MOM?

24. Is anything bugging you right now?
-yea...my trials and

25. What/who was the last thing/person to make you laugh?
-mom wacking dad! hahaha thats hilarious

26. Do you wear toe socks?
-what on earth are those???

27. Who was the last person you missed a call from?
-tak tau lar..haha

28. Have you ever had your heartbroken?
-definitely duh...

29. What annoys you most in a person?
-i hate fakers and those who are blind towards other people's feelings

30. Do you have a crush on anyone?
-yea...

31. Have you ever done cocaine?
-even i were to die also i wont do it

32. What is the colour of your room?
-white =_='''

33. Would you kill someone you hate for a billion dollar?
- why would i? i'm a BUDDHIST!!! =D no one can do bad in my blog since i put up such holy pic =)

34. Do you believe in the saying of : talk is cheap?
-NO! it costs u ur life if u say something wrong

35. Who was the last person to lie in your bed?
-my bro =.=

36. Who was the last person to hug you?
-mom =)

37. Did anyone see the last person you kissed?
-i never kissed anybody

38. Do you have a life?
-what?! what kind of question is this?!!

39. Have you ever think someone died, when they really didnt die?
- =_='

40. What is the reason behind your profile song?
-i just loved it and i wanna put that as my wedding theme song...hahaha

41. Who was the last person you saw in your dream?
-forgotten...

42. Last time you smiled?
-when answering question 40 =DD

43. Have you changed this year?
-hmm...i think so...physically and mentally

44. What are you listening right now?
-nothing

45. Are you talking to someone when you doing this?
-no...

46. Do you walk with your eyes open or closed?
-another f****ing question...haha

47. Is there a quote you live by?
-inspired by love and guided by knowledge

48. Do you want someone you cannot have?
-absolutely, that will be MARIAH CAREY!!! =D she's my ultimate fav singer...

49. Have you ever played an instrument?
-yes, a piano...and my only isntrument now to me is my voice =D

50. What was the worst idea you’ve had in this week?
-to not to study...

51. What are you doing last night at 11pm?
-half way through my M'sian Studies assignment...=_=' wat a 'fabulous' sub...

52. Are you happy with your love life right now?
-i'm not taken and i'm available ;-P

53. What song best describe your love life?
-i'm not in love lor...

54. Does the person know that you like him/her?
-not to be told...

55. Who always make you laugh?
-mom, friends...

56. Do you speak other language other than English?
-oh yes of course...mandarin, malay, hokkien, canto

57. Favourite website(s)?
-youtube and Yahoo...haha

58. What’s your middle name?
-Choon
59. What are you doing tomorrow?
-no idea, breakfast, then maybe will go to shop for a pair of new shoes and then back home, reading..

60. What do you think you are like?
-A HUMAN...
61. Who will you choose to die with?
-my soul...

62. Where have you been today?
-Jusco Wangsa Maju

63. What game do you play often?
-i seldom play games...UNO on msn i guess

64. Who are you missing right now?
-my old self...

65. If you have to choose between friend and love, who will you choose?
-friend

66. What are you doing right now?
- another question like that...i'm gonna swear =.=

67. Which primary school are you from?
-i'm frm 4 primary schools xD

68. Name 3 colours that you like?
-white, navy blue, black

69. What emotion you like to show?
-calm and steady

70. What is your life to you?
-everything, a period of time where i could live my desired dreams

71. If you have something troubling you, what will you do?
-sleep it off and most probably pen a poem..what else can i do?

72. Who did you last chat in msn today?
-Eric, Weng Chung, Kheng Hong

73. Who do you admire most?
-Mariah Carey and my MOM

74. Which month are you born in?
-April

75. How are you feeling right now?
-pathetically tired...

76. What is the time now?
-1.45 a.m

77. What kind of person do u think the one who tagged you is?
-funny, intelligent, unexpected

78.What colour did you use to dye hair?
-no dye plz...

79. Why are you doing this test?
-just to please sumone... =.=

80. What do you do when you’re moody?
-sleep it off as i say...a poem will help...listen to some Mariah Carey

81. At which age you wish to get married?
-whenever after i'm successful

82. Who is more important to you?
-mom and brother

83. If today is the last day of your life, what will you do?
-write the last poem and spent the last moments with my family.

84. Who is the person you trust the most?
-mom of course

85. Do you believe in seeing a rainbow after a rain?
-yes i do. =)

86. If you have a dream come true, what would it be?
-seeing Mariah Carey face to face

87. What is your goal for this year?
- to get at at least 1 A for my trials...

88. Do you believe in eternity love?
-yes...but its hard to find nowadays...

89. What feeling do you love most?
-happiness and serenity

90. Do you really think its Global Warming now?
-duh...

91.What feeling do you hate the most?
-fright and disappointment and embarrassment

92. Do you cherish every single friendship of yours?
-yes...for always

93. Do you believe in God?
-i believe in Gods and Buddha

94. Who cares for you most?
-mom =D

95. What do you think is the most important thing in your life?
-being able to take care of bro and mom...for now, getting into a good U and scoring grades

96. What will you bring when you fight?
- i dont fight...

97. What have you done regretted doing in your whole life?
-bullying Chu Wen, my primary 4 classmate, and i just loose contact with her...

98. What would you feel if no one no longer cares for you?
-i'll accept it as my fate...

99. What if your boyfriend/girlfriend two-timed you?
-wtf...

100. HOW DO U FEEL NOW?
-you tell me... =_='''

Of Brothers and Bonds

2008-10-03T18:33:00.006+08:00

Have you ever wonder how life would be like when we are still at war in this very second? Or for the guys, have you ever thought of how does it feel if you were to become a soldier and the country lies in the hands of yours? I did.

I was overwhelmed by feelings after watching 'Band of Brothers' by Steven Spielberg and Tom Hanks and once again, I was sharing the same minds of the 'brothers' in that movie as if I was there, witnessing the whole moment all these while.
'Beyond the wounded and killed, every men in Bastogne suffered. Men unhit by shrapnel or bullets were nevertheless casualties.'
Stephen E. Ambrose

That quotation explains my feelings at the very moment. I'm certain that this was also felt by all the ex-soldiers who had helplessly watched and seen their pals got hit in the midst of a fiery war.
And so... the story goes on. And I am really thankful to Lord that I was not born into the century of agony and death, instead, I was sent to a time where I'm able to sit in front of my computer comfortably with the air conditioner on. In fact, ever since I watched 'Pearl Harbor' starring Josh Hartnett and 'Empire of the sun' starring Christian Bale, I started to fancy movies with the settings of the post-1900 and movies regarding the Second World War. Not because of the violence inflicted of course, but the values hailed from these kind of movies. The bondage of 'war-buddies' and brotherhood, which has almost, always, gives a sense of awe to me. Well of course I'm not just referring to the American soldiers in particular, but to all soldiers and those true warriors out there who had fought for their countries and been through the 'hell on earth',

I salute you with my deepest respect. And here I dedicate a beautiful medley by Mariah Carey. It's actually a cross-over between 2 songs called Never too far and Hero. Listen to the song and here are the lyrics. Enjoy and be one with the song =D

You're with me
Till the bitter end
What we had transcends
This experience
Too painful to
Talk about
So I'll hold it in
Til my heart can mend
And be brave enough to love again
A place in time
Still belongs to us
Stays preserved in my mind
In the memories there is solace
Oh,
Never too far away
I won't let time erase
One bit of yesterday
Cause I have learned that
Nobody can take your place
Though we can never be
I'll keep you close to me always remember
Love

When you feel like hope is gone,
Look inside you and be strong,
And you'll finally see the truth,
that a hero lies in you.
Lord knows, dreams are hard to follow
But don't let anyone, tear them away.
Hold on, there will be tomorrow.
In time, you'll find the way
And then a hero comes along, with the strength to carry on,
And you cast your fears aside, and you know you can survive.
So when you feel like hope is gone,
Look inside you and be strong,
And you'll finally see the truth, that a hero lies in you.
That a hero lies in you
Nobody can take your place
You're never too far

Never too far away, the battle, the tears, the blood, the joy, the victory will always lie deep within a warrior's book of life, and no matter what, he and the rest of the 'brothers' will always stay connected in each other's heart where a true hero lies within. ;-)

God bless.

To nature's path, to human's soul

2008-09-30T20:36:00.004+08:00

As I've studied in literature, John Keats, whom I really wished to dig him up of his grave and swear the brains out of him for making our life miserable with the questioning of his so called 'role of a poet' He's no doubt famous for his odes and more importantly, one of the significant characteristics of his poems are often associated with imaginations and the natural world. Though dreadful and indecisive about the feelings and emotions that are attached to him and most of the time, he's sort of in the state of 'intoxication', somehow, I do find what he said is what we, humans have begin to lost touch of. That is to be one with nature. Although it may not be such an important factor that influences our daily lives, but look at it from this perspective, once we die, we are buried, we decay, we rot and our parts are digested by the fungi and microorganisms, in the end, we will return to earth, our soul is permanent, but our bodily shell will soon returned to where it belonged.

Well I guess you kinda know what I'm gonna do next..hahaha...YES! a poem! haha!! alright, I actually composed this in the LRT as I splendidly forgotten to bring along my mp3 during a loooooog journey and it was after a rain that sparked the writing soul in me...muahaha...it's basically a piece that shows the sounds and senses of mother nature that affects the persona and how nature brings him closer to himself and the fountain within him.

(To nature’s path, to human’s soul)

A rainbow always comes after a pour,
And sunshine comes after a gloom.
When I looked into the woods,
And breathe a breath of earth-scented nature…
How it sooths vengeance soul, my fiery nerves.
The mist-veiled hills and mountains,
Became the altar of the whispering guardian.
The river carries the souls of the jagged stones
And mighty pebbles,
Down to a stream of little voices…
I looked at heaven again,
The rainbow banished,
The sun a giant ball of warmth,
Melting the winter barrier of the inhabitants,
Who are yet to be one with nature.

A trip to a town of nature

2008-09-26T20:24:00.004+08:00

Good day! Good times always passed like a bullet train and yes, I had an awesome weekend with the children and volunteers of the Special Needs Learning Centre (SNLC) of Bukit Nanas which is where my brother is having his schooling. A trip was organized by the centre to Sg. Klah’s hot spring resort which is situated in the FELDA residence. By god, it was really a get-away from the hustle and bustle of city life! Not to mention the hot spring and the greens were just mesmerizing, even the resort area was a paradise! Guys, you people should seriously consider to make a trip there and I’m sure you will never forget.

It took us about 1 and a half hour drive to Sungkai exit at the highway and about 35 minutes drive towards the hot spring resort. I’m seriously thankful that I made it for the trip as I thought it was just another boring ‘rural trip’ and boy I was wrong! We just had so much fun there, everyone basically enjoyed themselves to the max and I was glad that the children did had fun too =D so for the first day, some of them reached there way earlier than us so they proceeded to the hot spring first. We met the group at the cafeteria and after lunch we went to the lobby to check in and I was kinda shocked to fin that the rooms were decently kept with simplicity and the best thing is the room was spacious! It can even fit 2 king size beds in the room with lots of space left. Although it was not as luxurious as those in the cities, but this is the whole purpose of it! Simplicity in the town of nature. Ha-ha.

We spent most of our late afternoon walking around the whole area from the palm estate to the spot of the hot spring then the rest of the evening was free and easy whereby me and my brother with a couple of families went to the hot spring therapeutic spot with individual pools and a stream of spring water running across the lane of rocks for foot reflexology. The temperature of the spring can reach till 50 degrees which we basically jumped like ants on a hot pan when we immersed our legs in the pools and especially walking on stones with hot water really made all of us went jumping like monkeys! XD there were various pools with different temperatures and all one has to do was just to soak your legs or immerse yourself into the pool of steaming spring water. It was really crazy at first since the water was so freaking hot, but surprisingly after awhile, you will actually get used to the temperature. We then went to the cold spot where an artificial waterfall lied and it’s actually a huge pool like those in Sunway Lagoon. It was really hilarious where the children will be sitting on us and we had a ‘pool fight’ and we men actually fought against each other. Hahaha! It was fun to see us drowning and defeating each other. Haha… then, it’s time for the hot pool where the water was even warmer than before. You can basically feel the scorching heat of the water on your skin especially when you’re topless =_=’ yeah… I was forced to strip…=.=’’’ and by the time when your lower body touched the water…my goodness. It feels like a zillion years…(you get what I mean especially for the guys =_=’…)

After dinner at the coffeehouse, we danced and sang all night long with the children. It was just fun all the way. Everyone was shy at first then all the funny dance moves started to kick in we were laughing our lungs out at some of the children and parents’ dances.

We went soccer with the children the next day in the morning after breakfast. It was another crazy moment. All the parents and siblings started screaming and yelling when the ball came to them or they’ll be yelling ‘KICK TO ME! KICK TO ME!!!’ hahaha…I actually played barefooted until I had my front toe injured =_=’ no big deal. Just a little blood here and there and that’s about it. XD but I still managed to pass the ball to them for our very first goal hahaha! Later on, we went for the egg boiling activity which was kinda weird to see eggs being ‘boiled’ in the pool of water. Can you imagine how hot the water was that only 8 minutes is required to have a full-boiled egg. See photos below :p

Went to pool again and had lunch before we checked out. It was really a journey worth the remembrance. Not only we got to experience all the interesting stuff but going on a trip with these kind of special kids made the trip even more meaningful than ever. =D definitely looking for another trip like that in future.

A scenic view of Sg. Klah, Felda.
A walk in the palm tree estate.
Therapeutic spot.
That’s my brother with his forced grin. (It was really hot!) =D
The coffeehouse.
Party through the night! XD
That is my brother and one of his teachers, Melanie. The guy with striped-T is one of the French volunteers, Frederick.
Mom with Ruben. =)
The resort through my lenses. Not bad huh my photographing skills. :p
The resort’s pathway.
Ann, Seng Kiat, Mrs. Kerk and Pierre at the breakfast table.
Brother, Mom and dad.
That guy covering his nose at the right is me =_=’
Me, brother, Shawn, Pierre.
Eggs in the pool! My dad's horrible photographing skills which captured my pathetically horrible grin =_='

A game of Tennis

2008-09-26T20:24:00.002+08:00

Good day guys! I've decided not to post any poems today although originally I intended to do so and one friend of mine actually said 'Don't just post bout your poems lar...very boring you know...post something about your life mar...' =.=' yup... this was what he said..haha...

Anyway, it was quite an interesting day today. A buddy of mine and I went for tennis at YMCA and it was our first time having this game together as neither of us too had any skills..hahaha =P it was drizzling by the time we started off...and Bloody me, I should have brought a cap along as I have to play under the Bloody rain for a good 20 minutes =_='' but thankfully it was not that heavy and I seriously hope that I'll not fall sick coz I still have an outing tomorrow...back to the tennis court...yup...so there you go, the two of us, tennis balls 'flying' everywhere and I can proudly say that the balls too 'flew' out of court as well...hahaha...well you can't blame us right, after all these years of 'inexperience'...haha but somehow we managed to survived through =D it seemed like a rough start but gradually when we're more familiar and got used to the whole game, only then things turned better as there was less balls that flew out the court, BUT the amount of running here and there in the court had not been lesser..haha..well it's kinda hard to tell who is the better one but still I think Kit Wai can be accounted for it...i think his hitting skills and the way he grip and grab the racket was waaay better than mine as I still have the problem of gripping it like a badminton racket...so, way to go buddy!! haha...guessed he watched a lot of tennis tournaments =p as I said at least we made it through...was tiring though but Kit Wai was already half dead by then..muahahaha...Went back to college to change up, had a bottle of H2O and a slice of bread to prevent a 'stomach breakdown' (got such theory meh?) hahaha...and oh yes, I think we sweat more than we drank...haha..so you can imagine how drenched we were and how smart were we to wear a white top which he regarded as 'so sexy' when it drenched through our spine...hahaha so I din really dare to walk straight along the way, (you got the reason why... XD )

Therefore, Choon Hui + Kit Wai = possible DISASTER+plenty of groans =D hahahahaha!!!

It was nice game and good start after all =) at least we got to run around and we did a few cool shots and it was quite coordinated, surprisingly :-) in fact, no doubt that both of us had the strength but definitely not the skills...haha..so we need more practise indeed and more youtube I guess? haha! =D

Trapped within Ourselves...

2008-09-18T22:22:00.002+08:00

Hey guys! Good evening! (The fact is I’m posting at night) duh! Ha-ha. Alright once again the poet’s instinct (ahem!!! Clears throat…) =P strikes me after an evening nap muahaha!. Anyway I’m in a midst of composing yet another poem; unfortunately it’s still under construction ha-ha. Will be up soon in no time =)

Sometimes, we often let our minds and feelings get the better of us. Try asking yourself how it feels when at times you just can’t seem to let out your feelings and it’s not that you don’t want to but you just can’t. Enough said. And I’m sure all of us here had been trapped before. Mentally, spiritually. When some circumstances forced us to be who we hated to be or forced us to suppress the feelings that makes our inside world goes round and round. Now this poem is closely linked to the dilemma and confusions faced by the persona and he eventually accepts them as these are part and parcel of life. it's called Trapped within emotions.

Trapped within emotions

Just like the devil and angel by my sides,
I am torn by feelings,
Confusions.
Didn’t know how to let them out
Didn’t know how to get by them;
I am trapped in my own soul,
Not being able to break free

I am confused,
So confused…

Between heaven and hell
I’m stranded on this unworthy air
Wondering around
Like a spirit
That just wouldn’t cross over
That belongs to neither here nor there

Again and again,
Happiness filled the void;
Again and again,
Disappointment shut my door tight…

Where do I belong?
Where shall I venture?
It doesn’t matter now,
Because it’s just part of life
That will cling to me for so long my breath is heard